Hot for Hot Pockets

I remember those commercials where it would ask you what would you do for a Klondike bar.  They would have this crazy situations to see how far someone would go and at the end they’d get that wonderful ice cream with the chocolaty coating.  It’s not quite an ice cream sandwich but there is no other real word for it, but a Klondike.  Well, these brothers had their own version: What would you do for that Hot Pocket.

Well, apparently he’d stab his own brother for it.  Ok, lets imagine this scenario.  I go in the kitchen, I’m hungry and I see some hot pockets in the freezer.  Chicken Fajita, because that’s my favorite, and I bust that baby in there for about two minutes.  I take it out, I’m taking it out the new crisping sleeve and here comes big or little bro depending. And he’s like “Hey, gimme that pocket.” I’m like “pssh, please” and then we begin to wrestle for it.  So, in the heat of the moment, this hot pocket is the only thing that can attack these hunger pains so I reach over and grab a steak knife and stab you brother.  After we continue to wrestle for awhile I take the hot pocket and run because your crippled by the wound.  wow.  Just wow.  But like, don’t hot pockets come two in a box? Where was the other one. Where was HP2?

I don’t have any siblings so I know nothing about sibling rivalry.  It could have been that those were HIS hot pockets and bro just came along and rummaged them out. I’ve definitely  had that happen to me.  I think about it all day.  I’ll be at work thinking,” I”m going to go home and eat that last square of lasagna.” I’ll come home, ready for dinner and open the fridge and its gone.  someone got it.  I see the empty bowl in the sink and I’m like ‘”OH NO! I’ma kill ’em!” But never have I actually wanted to draw blood over food.  NEVER! And I love food.  When I was younger I was like Mikey so I know all about love for food. And I know about having people come and take your food.  But drawing blood is just wrong.  How do you tell your parents?

“Johnny, why’d you stab Tim?”

“MOoommm! he tried to eat my hot pocket.” How is that acceptable? Why is this ok? Is this ok? At the time of the article the police had yet to find the uninjured brother nor determine the fate of the Hot Pocket.  Wait, maybe its for sale on ebay with baby Jesus’ face on it? He did show up on the grilled cheese! Remember that?


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