Ruminating-sorry if I ramble.

It’s been a super long week and I haven’t written in forever.  I can’t believe the  election is in the next few days.  Wow.  It’s really possibly that the United States of America with all its covert racism might have a black president.  Or its possible that we won’t.  Either way, history has been made.

Over the past week I spent a lot of time thinking and wondered so many things. I had so many Why’s  or What questions that maybe I should have wrote them down because I can’t think of any of them.  But one thing I know is that I sometimes joke and say that people suck, mainly guys, but maybe I’m the one who sucks? Maybe I have extremely flawed logic (which i sometimes admit to) but is it coming to a point where I live inside my own reality so much that I don’t see things that might be looking right at me?  I want to say NO, but how accurately are we really when we judge ourselves?  Why is it that even when we are truly happy for someone else it just forces us to dwell on our own lack of success in similar venues? Like, if my best friend were to get a job she loved, of course I’d be extremely ecstatic for her but at the same time I’d be sad for myself for still being in a job that isn’t quite as satisfactory.  I’d probably push myself to try harder for a while but eventually, who knows? I’m hoping for many things in my life to come to fruition over the next few weeks.  Some more important than others, combined they’d make my life a wonderful trifecta of bliss, but who has it all? Is it wrong to have faith in a divine plan? How much should we rely on that plan or think about it when we are making choices that could affect us seriously and possibly change our lives.  Change is scary.

Don’t forget to vote in my poll people.  I’m not taking it down until I have a satisfactory number of votes.  And right now I don’t.

I finished another fluff book, this week I’m going to start a book called, “Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters.” A very close friend bought it for me and I’m hoping its a good read.  I’m trying to keep my mind preoccupied.

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