How to deal with an overly eager man.

So I don’t normally do relationship blogs, but I feel the need to talk about something.  I guess because I’m experiencing it in my life a little, and this is what this blog is for.  So today we are going to talk about a guy type, Mr. Too Much Too Soon or Mr. Eager, but really there are many names for this type of guy.  This type of guy is really annoying when you don’t share the same times of feelings that he’s feeling, which is usually how all problems arise.  But back to topic.

Mr. Eager Beaver, this is the guy whom you just met. You have spoke maybe 2 times and hung out together once. You are thinking to yourself  “Well OK, he’s cool. We are getting to know each other.” But after these few interactions all he can talk about his how much he likes you and wants to make you  his girl. For me, this is slightly creepy because I usually feel that we don’t know each other that well.  And it’s a huge turn off.  I’m very guarded and I have to feel you out, I have yet to meet someone and feel this instant kismet.  Secondly, I feel that things like this don’t have to be said.  If you met me, and you really like the conversation and the vibe that is being given then you make it so we spend more time together. Then it would naturally progress to being a whirlwind romance.  But by you constantly talking about it, I’m weirded out.  The worse (and this happened) a guy who is like yeah my family will love you.  WTF!

Can anyone remember the scene in Waiting to Exhale where Robin (Lela Rochon) was arguing with Troy (Mykelti Williamson) from the balcony.  And she asks what have I done in 3 weeks to warrant me meeting your mama? That’s how I feel.  Now for some, this whirlwind romance can be a wonderful thing.  And it has led to many wonderful romances, but there has to be a degree of mutual chemistry.  Because just like with anything else, its only annoying if YOUR not interested.

So how do you deal with Mr. Eager Beaver? Normally, I’d just put him on ignore and wait until he got the point. But I’ve come to realize that doesn’t always work.  And its better to be mature and up front about it.  I recommend sitting down and clarifying the standing of the “relationship.” Making sure you both are on the same page. And outlining any things that need to be said to make it so that you stay on the same page.  For instance, if he feels that you calling him 2x a week means you want something more.  YOu need to be able to say OK, I understand that and make an effort not to call him more than 2x a week unless you want to give off that vibe.  Do whatever you need to do, even if it means cutting off what could be a seemingly nice guy, because most of the time they don’t get it. And then you have a potential problem on your hands.

On the flip side, you have girls that enjoy this kind of attention.  So let these guys go back out there and find them. Know what you want and how to avoid settling. This is something that I’m still working on.  Always respect your own standards. Don’t sacrifice them for some attention.

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