5. Be more family oriented – I’ve been trying for the past year. I’m an only child, who’s not close to her mom, so sometimes I really just don’t care about family events and all those good things. But this year I’ve spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family, went out with a cousin for her birthday, and got myself a (future) god-child. They say family is all you’ve got, so let’s see . .
So, lately I’ve been conducting a social experiment on my family. And as I began to write my findings I remember what I wrote back in late 2009 with my (NON) New years Resolutions and I figured now as the year is winding down I can reflect back on this. I feel like lately being an only child is more apparent than ever, even though I have a large family (my aunt had 11 (yes 11) children.) Growing up this was awesome and I never had time to feel like an only child, but now as an adult I feel it.
The Experiment: I began to feel like my relationship with my family was a one way street. Me being the person reaching out and doing all the efforts to make this bonding and family time happen. I decided I was going to abstain from writing on Facebook walls, @’ing them on twitter ( i almost said i was going to de-friend them) and see how long before it gets noticed. Nor was I going to attend any showers, birthday parties that I was invited to because, well that’s the only time I hear from them, or if something else is needed.
Results: No contact until someone invited me to a kids birthday party. They invited me Tuesday for a party this Saturday -_-. I respectfully declined.
Now some will argue that that’s no way to treat family and you have to be there for them even if you don’t talk often. And yes, that is true. But at what point do you give that a rest. There have been countless (as in too many to count) instances where family will screw you over quicker than a friend, or an enemy. Not all family is FAMILY. When I’m having a bad day at work, I don’t call my “family.” Family is frankly, slightly overrated at times, at least in my situation.
How often do I reach out to them you ask? Well, I’ve been to like every kids party (that I was invited to) and baby shower in the past 2-3 years. And that’s a lot. My family has about 10 kids between the ages of 1-10 at this current moment.
** Note, I’m not talking about my extended family here, you know great aunts, uncles, cousins, and in-laws. This is a mere experiment with my immediate family which for me includes aunts, 1st cousins, etc.,) **