A Slice of reality pie

So .. today over a nice delicious Portuguese BBQ meal me and a coworker had a discussion about women who are scandalous. Some of us often refer to them as “ain’t shit” or “rachet” or just  plain “hoes”. You know, women who make eye contact with a man and then blow him in the bathroom of the local VFW (yup women do this). So I said to this person, a wonderful woman, who is awesome. She’s like my auntie. She’s like 38 to my 25 and we just talk and she’s great. But anyway, I said to her you know its women like this who make it so easy for guys to be disrespectful to women. It’s women like this that are the reason that men can so easily not be in relationships, because they can get all the benefits of a relationship with strangers.

I mean men aren’t totally blame free, but if women stopped allowing them to do trifling stuff, who would they do it with? I mean, don’t get me wrong, public sex is HOT .. with my boyfriend!!! Or a guy I’m dating seriously. But I could NEVER make out in the bathroom of a bar with a stranger, I’d at least let him take me back to his hotel room! It’s reality though, why is a guy going to put in all this work (i.e take you to dinner, find out your interests before trying to screw you) if he can get laid without any effort?

So then I came home and was reading on NecoleBitchie this snippet from a Taraji P. Henson interview in Complex Mag. I love love Love Taraji, ever since I first saw her in Baby Boy!” If a woman’s sleeping with this dude one night, another guy the next, no one’s taking her seriously. If you don’t give it up, he doesn’t have that power. We get men’s attention when we close our legs. For me, it’s not a game. I’m seeing what I can put up with. I’m not perfect, but I need to know if I’m going to like you on the days when I don’t want to like you.”

It made me think about where I am in life and what I’m looking for (or not looking for) but what I hope to find one day and about what I’m willing to accept from a guy right now. And I’ve realized that I am not interested in a solely sexual relationship with anyone (no matter how much I need to get laid)  and it sucks because that’s what so many guys are looking for. But I wont settle. Never settle.