January 26, 2011
The other day I made my first reference to my next big birthday, 30! OMG I can’t believe I’m already thinking of 30! WTF! I remember being 16 and saying the perfect age was 22. And I just celebrated my 25th. Sheesh. WOW.
Here’s how the scenario went. I was in the shower, just doing some idle shower thinking (I tend to come up with some novel ideas and premises while showering). And I thought of getting Lasik, and I said “I’ll get Lasik for my 30th birthday gift to myself” Like, it wasn’t even a second thought. I’m miffed. It’s official. I’m old. When did this happen?
I didn’t even get nostalgic when I referenced it. It didn’t hit me until 3 days later when I mentioned it to a friend. I was like woah, did I just say When I turn 30??? I have several friends who are closer to 3o (or past 30) and I totally adore them. I mean, I still have some years to go and I hope to pack them full of interesting and life fulfilling events. I am looking forward to the next few years. I expect BIG things for myself!
Posted in eternal reflections | Tags: blasphemy, curiousity, random, rants | No Comments »
January 23, 2011
My colleague posted this photo to her Facebook account today and I immediately tagged myself in it. I think its extremely thought provoking and I need to go to the racism exhibit she visited in Boston this weekend. She mentioned how they had a part of the exhibit where they took people of different ethnic/racial backgrounds and changed their skin tone but none of their features to see how people would identify them. According to her the results will shock you. It led to an interesting discussion on bone structure and racial identity.
Racial identity is something I think about, probably because me and my friends joke that I’m racially ambiguous, but I identify as a young, black woman. Whenever someone asks “What are you?” and I reply, “I’m just black” they are never satisfied with that answer and then pressure me to “admit it, you’re something else” Or they might even say, “Well you mom and dad might be, but their parents aren’t.” I know that I don’t look “just black” but it bothers me that people don’t accept that answer from me, because being black, you’re blessed with being so versatile and beautiful at any shade.
Here’s a rare photo of me:
I think that a large part of racial identity depends on your upbringing. Sure, I may be mixed but I was raised in a “black” household, with black grandparents and a black family, so being black is ALL I know. I get tired of people trying to place me in a check box. I do not check other or bi-racial on my census forms, I check BLACK, not of Hispanic origin (because that’s important I guess)
Posted in eternal reflections | Tags: america, racism, random | 3 Comments »
January 21, 2011
I’m all over the place in case you guys don’t know. At any given time I can think of several different goals/tasks I’d like to accomplish but finding the time to address all of them is H.A.R.D. So, one thing I want to do is spend less time being idle, you know sitting around watching things you aren’t interested in on TV. How do I accomplish this?
1. Canceling cable. Shocking Right? A mid-twenties girl with no cable. This decision was sparked by first thinking of expenses I could scale back on and then the idea that I can really watch almost anything online. A larger factor was that I’m rarely home as is and I DVR everything and with the addition of graduate school I will have even less time, so why tempt myself. This weekend I’m taking Comcast back their boxes and making the switch. Oh and I also signed up for Netflix because not only can I watch whole seasons of shows, I can stream to my laptop.
2. Spend more quality time with people. I think I’m going to try to spend at least 1 day a month with friends/family. So one friday might be spent with my bff Q and another weekend I might spend Sunday with Granny. I will make a more conscious effort to invest in my friendships and relationships.
3. Enjoy personal time. I enjoy the time I spend alone, even if its just painting my nails or getting ready for work (when I’m not rushing ).
4. Know what’s worth agonizing over. If you can’t fix/change it, don’t stress it.
5. Care less about peoples opinions about me. The person I ultimately wish to please is ME. Do what you do for YOU and no one else. Lately I’ve encountered a person in my life who I want to refer to as a “Negative Nelly” nothing I Say or do is ever sufficient. When I told said person about my graduate school plans they proceeded to tell me this was the wrong field and told me of where the real $ was and that I was wasting my time. Because I asked your opinion? When I told them of my desire to lose weight, everything I did was not enough. A lean cuisine was too fatty of a lunch. They even one time tried to harp on me about the use of a word, which was used correctly. This person always constantly relates to their own worth in terms of money and what they can buy. Eventually when this person would go on tangents I just began to say “ok” and “mmhmm” because you can’t argue with a fool. From afar people can’t tell who the fool is. But I also realized I gave them this power over me. Stop telling them stuff. If everything you do they offer nothing positive or constructive criticism, why did I continue to tell them stuff? Lesson learned. Not to say its easy, but I know I’ll save myself more stress in the end.
Posted in Cleo's Rants | | 2 Comments »
January 12, 2011
Who’s going to be a New York University Alumni ?? That’s right ME!
In case you don’t know me well enough to know that I have a real job/career. You know, one that pays the excessive bills I have every month, and its at a college/university. I actually enjoy what I do and find it to be satisfying and would love to spend my life in this field, just not in the current job I have. So, I’m attending the New York University, Steinhardt School of Culture, Education and Human Development. I will be looking to receive a M.A in Higher Education/Student Personnel Administration (or as my lovely coworker calls it, my Nursing Degree)
I am so excited because I’ve been wanting to go back for a Master’s Degree for some time. Initially when I took my first full-time job at Rutgers when I graduate it was with the intention to get a FREE graduate degree while employed there, but at the time I was so all over the place and unsure of what I actually wanted to do with my life, because I was one of those people who had no idea what they really wanted to do with the life after college and majored in Journalism & Media Students because I do enjoy writing. So I did take that time to take some non-matric classes to feel my way around, I took a Budget & Marketing class, an English Class (graduate English students are weirdo central by the way!), and even a spanish class. Eventually I begain to decide I did enjoy working in the education field and was torn between School Counseling and College Student Affairs, I took a Counseling & Interview course which was a requirement for both degrees and took the time to decide which job was for me and decided I LOVE working in colleges. I just don’t have the patience for anyone younger than 17 and I like the workplace environment. So then I began to research other programs and not limit myself to the school I was working at, especially since I was unsatisfied with my job there. And that’s how I got here
I’m really happy because this was the #1 goal I set for myself back in early 2010, peep: http://cleosunshine.com/2010/01/my-non-new-years-resolutions/
# 1. Get into Grad School !!!
Yay Me!
Let’s take a minute to reflect back on the other goals I made:
Write More: Um, I did get published, but I didn’t write here as much as I should/could have.
Read more non-fiction: I read a lot this year, so much that I had to give up my Barnes & Noble membership in lieu of a free library card. Yeah. But I can’t say I read 1 non-fiction a month. #drats
Prioritize: I guess I did focus on some things and didn’t spend as much time online, I just spent that time shopping or eating… hmm
Be more family oriented: This was hit or miss. I did feel like I was making a big effort, I just felt it wasn’t returned so I gave up.
Posted in Cleo's Rants | | 1 Comment »
