March 28, 2011
The other day I spent most of the day perusing @jessdubb ‘s tumblr. And I saved sooo many different quotes and photos I felt inspired by. I’ve been a self proclaimed quote whore for many years now…
Yesterday I got the ultimate compliment from a close friend. We spend a sufficient amount of time together and yesterday we were doing one of our favorite Sunday activities: browsing the mall and having a delicious lunch. We talked about typical life stuff and I was feeling very “I can change my life and accomplish anything” having just finished The Travelers Gift. I kept sharing quotes I’d saved from jess’s tumblr and then I pulled out the book and let her read some. We had some good conversation about just our goals and how we want to change things. Later when we got home she sent me the following bbm:
“I had a good day friend. Very positive and motivating. Thank you.” For me, that was THE ultimate compliment. To bring someone else motivation through sharing things I’m passionate about.
So here are a few of the images I hijacked , after all sharing IS caring.
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March 24, 2011
Soooo ..I’ve been bothered by this:
the other morning I made my bbm status “can I hit it in the morning” (because I’ve been feeling the J.Cole and Drake song) and like 2 mins later my co-worker made his bbm status “fat girls shouldn’t have sex related bbm status (n) ”
This bothered me because 1. Subliminal messages are not respected. Was it Juelz Santana who said “if it aint directed directly at me I don’t respect it”? 2. Dude, if I’m fat, what does that make you, a chubby chaser? Hmmm.. And dude, when will you get that I REALLY am not defining myself by what YOU think of me.
I didn’t respond to him because I hate subliminals, therefore I’m not going to acknowledge that I may think you’re talking about me. I believe by responding to him, it would have been just the reaction he wanted. And he would have responded “if you think I’m talking about you then I am” I don’t like that he puts a facade into being my “friend.” The situation came up again later in the week when, at the bar with another coworker who I’m cool with, she tells me she told him that status was rude and people might take offense and he should take it down. He responds, “whatever I can say what I want and if u think xxxxxx feels it’s about her tell her to get her fat ass on the treadmill” when I saw that, it just turned my annoyance into fury. And I saw it, she LET me read the bbm, so it wasn’t hearsay.
I’ve faced the realization he isn’t a REAL friend long ago, and haven’t really been talking to him. But this incident, well, I’m completely over that. I don’t wanna be his friend, associate or whatever-not in a mean way but just in a you don’t exist to me kinda way. The reason is simple-I’m a genuine person and I like genuine people around me. I’m also a positive person in a sense that I always support my friends, this person never is supportive. This is same person who previously belittled my decision to go to graduate school for higher education. Who last week called me naïve because I supported a coworkers decision to report someone who was being unethical, instead of not being in favor of “tattling”
I seriously am bothered by him because he’s a MAN!! Aren’t men supposed to leave the petty comments and trash talking to women? And seriously dude? I’m mid-twenties-you think that’s the first fat joke I heard? That’s the equivalent of telling a person wearing glasses they are 4-eyed (been there, done that). Grow up dude. Stop being so bitchmade. #lessonlearned. I think this also addresses the issue that I feel strongly about, you can’t always befriend your coworkers. Yes, we can have work time to talk and chill but not every coworker should be invited too far into your personal life and I think many young professionals struggle with this, especially if they work around other young people. My office has staff mostly between ages of 23-30 and other departments have younger staff as well. Often I decline opportunities to go out for drinks oe hang because I still want to keep some lines drawn and I don’t ever want pics tagged from those chance outings on facebook. I informed a younger co-worker to cool out on posting too many pics of her out drinking and parlaying with other co-workers (or with friends for that matter) because things are so public. I google myself every few months to check my internet presence-both my name and my email I use for resumes and such. I want to make sure I have a clean internet presence.
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March 21, 2011
I hate to have uncomfortable conversations sometimes. Or at least conversations that I perceive could be uncomfortable, and because of this I usually fester with different scenarios and thoughts working myself into a tizzy, only to present them to the other person for them to be like “oh, ok.” Why do I do this time and time again?!
Currently I’m thinking of how to approach a romantic situation-simply put, I’m not one of those girls who enjoys a NSA relationship. I’ve learned this about myself over time. I don’t believe women can have sex like men, or at least I’m not one of those women, and entering a new sexual relationship without having had that conversation is a BAD thing- at least for me. Mostly because I hate grey area. I have an issue with undefined roles. I believe (and this is recent beliefs) in putting your expectations up front. If I lay out what I am looking for up front and let you make that decision to continue. I’ve been caught in a situation before where I wasn’t clear of the type of person I am, and that only led to ME being frustrated, not the other person. because I compromised who I was by not speaking up, and I don’t believe in taking what you can get just to have someone in your life. Not an ultimatum or pressure, but I believe if you know all the facts up front you can make an informed decision. After all, in this game of dating we’re all just trying to be informed consumers-and some of us are more savvy shoppers than the rest. I like to be committed to my purchase, I often spot something I like then patiently wait for a good deal. Rarely am I an impulse shopper. Not never, but rarely.
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The other night I watched Precious: Based on the novel by Sapphire for the first time and man, this movie really was as sad as people sad.
I didn’t watch earlier because people kept saying how sad the movie was. Plus, I read the book many years ago and I’ve been fooled by other book ‘adaptations’ in the past. So I wasn’t eager. But the other night this movie was in my Top Recommendations on Netflix, so I laid down to watch figuring I’d fall asleep on it. But I didn’t.
I have to note, I vaguely remember the book-i remembered what it was about and how graphic it was, but not exactly HOW graphic or WHAT was graphic about it or WHY. When I told my friend I watched the movie and how I didn’t even feel the tears coming on (seriously, I was just watching nice and calm and the next minute tears were running down my cheeks by no effort of my own) she had some interesting insight. I’ve been pretty open with her about things in my childhood and growing up that I had to agree.
Verbally abusive parents: I grew up with my grandmother and while now I am appreciative of that fact growing up it wasn’t easy. Being called ugly, lazy, tramp or “just like your mother” when your mother is a drug addict are serious things to deal with as a kid/teenager. Being beaten with various household objects (cutting boards, brooms, blind handles) can leave scars-mental and physical. Realizing as an adult that your mom has a sibling jealousy toward you because you. While I think that things are good now between me and my grandmother sometimes when I look at her I see those things and resent them if I’m really honest with myself. Maybe that’s why I personally found the story of Precious to be sad-because the underlying message. One friend said the movie ended on a down note-it left no positivity. I had to disagree, if you listen to what Precious says as she leaves Miss Weiss’ office, she takes notes of her accomplishments, sets new goals for herself and has a determination to do better, as best as she can for herself and her children. My friend said, “but she’s fat, black, uneducated, single mother” and I think if you look past those things you see a person who hadn’t yet come out, who was trying not to be defined by what her circumstances had laid out for her. I saw some things I see in myself.
I used to be embarrassed about things in my past, such as a drug addict mother that I never wanted to discuss it. Now, even though I don’t go announcing it to strangers, I am more open to discussing it with some people. Oftentimes I make light jokes about ti, that some people don’t know how to handle, and I think in the past they were a defense mechanism I employed. Not to say I’m completely over my past or come to grips with everything, I feel I’m more at a point where I can grow from it versus letting it hold me back. I’m not the type to be held back.
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March 16, 2011
Me, being the brightest crayon in the box, had the wonderful experience of having a TV fall on my foot. Granted the TV was already on the floor so it wasn’t too much impact, it hurt like all hell. ALL HELL.
And now my toe is blue and purple. just in time for summer. great!
Ladies, we know how important nice feet are! Don’t let this happen to you, keep a man around!!! lol
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March 10, 2011
OMG this story is disturbing. Let’s not only look at the gist of it: several MEN sexually assaulted an 11 year old girl. Adults and teens. People much older than the 11 year old!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41993963/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/
What disturbs me most about this article is this quote::
Residents who live nearby told The Associated Press this week that they had seen the girl, dressed provocatively and in makeup, hanging out near the area both before and after Nov. 28. Some in the town expressed doubts about the case, even suggesting authorities should consider culpability on the part of the girl.
“Maturity or not I’m pretty sure she knew what she was doing,” Robin Smith, 24, a cashier in Cleveland, said as she shopped this week.
Why is it so common for people to try and crminalize the victim. Even if this girl dressed provocatively (a diff matter) that excuses MEN from raping her? She led them on? She’s fucking 11. I’m too through with this. Disgusted.
If I had been permitted to tweet, this definitely would have been posted because my stomach turned.
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So, this year for lent I’m giving up twitter and facebook. Shoot me now.
People asked me why and I just asked, What Would Jesus Do? And then said Let me be great! Lol
So I’m going to do a post (hopefully daily) on things I would have tweeted about..
1. Whatever happened to that movie where 50 cent was looking real crackish?
2. Grrrr NJTransit. They don’t realize the impact of their tardiness and or inconveniences-for instance, just pulling into a different track can make someone miss their connecting train. >:/
3. “Got my Mac Notebook with my ProTools!” Yaaayyy! Picked up my new laptop from NYU! Woop Woop!
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March 7, 2011
Yesterday someone said to me, “are you gaining weight?”
That single sentence almost ruined my day. To start I thought I looked quite chic that day in my attire. And while I hadn’t lost any weight my scale also hasn’t moved up. So, I was devastated. Isn’t this question tied with number one for “Questions not to ask women?” Along with ‘how old are you?”
I had just had a conversation the previous day where someone said “but you don’t need to lose weight” and I had to explain that its not about there being bigger people in the world, its a matter of physical satisfaction with oneself, which I do not have. I mean, how is that a statement to offer someone solace, “Don’t worry, there are fatter people out there.” Soo.. I should just be happy being on the slim side of fat? #thanksbutnothanks.
Do I know that? Does it make me feel better when I look in the mirror naked? Yes and no respectively. Weight loss is HARD, especially when your like me and have little discipline and even less time on your plate. Even without making excuses, weight is a sensitive subject that I usually only discuss with those close to me, am I alone?
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