Soooo ..I’ve been bothered by this:
the other morning I made my bbm status “can I hit it in the morning” (because I’ve been feeling the J.Cole and Drake song) and like 2 mins later my co-worker made his bbm status “fat girls shouldn’t have sex related bbm status (n) ”
This bothered me because 1. Subliminal messages are not respected. Was it Juelz Santana who said “if it aint directed directly at me I don’t respect it”? 2. Dude, if I’m fat, what does that make you, a chubby chaser? Hmmm.. And dude, when will you get that I REALLY am not defining myself by what YOU think of me.
I didn’t respond to him because I hate subliminals, therefore I’m not going to acknowledge that I may think you’re talking about me. I believe by responding to him, it would have been just the reaction he wanted. And he would have responded “if you think I’m talking about you then I am” I don’t like that he puts a facade into being my “friend.” The situation came up again later in the week when, at the bar with another coworker who I’m cool with, she tells me she told him that status was rude and people might take offense and he should take it down. He responds, “whatever I can say what I want and if u think xxxxxx feels it’s about her tell her to get her fat ass on the treadmill” when I saw that, it just turned my annoyance into fury. And I saw it, she LET me read the bbm, so it wasn’t hearsay.
I’ve faced the realization he isn’t a REAL friend long ago, and haven’t really been talking to him. But this incident, well, I’m completely over that. I don’t wanna be his friend, associate or whatever-not in a mean way but just in a you don’t exist to me kinda way. The reason is simple-I’m a genuine person and I like genuine people around me. I’m also a positive person in a sense that I always support my friends, this person never is supportive. This is same person who previously belittled my decision to go to graduate school for higher education. Who last week called me naïve because I supported a coworkers decision to report someone who was being unethical, instead of not being in favor of “tattling”
I seriously am bothered by him because he’s a MAN!! Aren’t men supposed to leave the petty comments and trash talking to women? And seriously dude? I’m mid-twenties-you think that’s the first fat joke I heard? That’s the equivalent of telling a person wearing glasses they are 4-eyed (been there, done that). Grow up dude. Stop being so bitchmade. #lessonlearned. I think this also addresses the issue that I feel strongly about, you can’t always befriend your coworkers. Yes, we can have work time to talk and chill but not every coworker should be invited too far into your personal life and I think many young professionals struggle with this, especially if they work around other young people. My office has staff mostly between ages of 23-30 and other departments have younger staff as well. Often I decline opportunities to go out for drinks oe hang because I still want to keep some lines drawn and I don’t ever want pics tagged from those chance outings on facebook. I informed a younger co-worker to cool out on posting too many pics of her out drinking and parlaying with other co-workers (or with friends for that matter) because things are so public. I google myself every few months to check my internet presence-both my name and my email I use for resumes and such. I want to make sure I have a clean internet presence.