Resolving to evolve

13Jan 2012 by Jakora Holman 2 Comments

Pardon me as I’m still on this New  Year Resolution thing and the concept of “RESOLVE”. What does it mean to make and keep a resolution, especially one rooted in change in oneself?

The other day I was sitting home being very self deprecating because I had already slipped up on one of my resolutions …

Left Brain: You suck. You couldn’t even stick it out for 2 full weeks? 8 days? 8 days is all you lasted, seriously?

Right Brain: Relax.  Things happen. Take it easy. No Harm. You  had a good time, no?

Heart: You really messed up. You know what you want, but you aren’t taking the steps to get there. What are you scared of?

Left Brain: You just don’t know what will power is. You don’t know how to stick to any goals. You really failed. SMH at you…

Right Brain: Life is Love. -Rev. Run

Well, you get the idea right? At some point in the night, I gave up and went to sleep. I said this isn’t good. I woke up, renewed and ready to face the challenge. Resolutions do NOT mean cold turkey. They do not mean if you slip up you can’t get back on the wagon. It’s like the age-old diet mentality, just because you have a bad day doesn’t mean you give up on eating healthy all together. You slip. You fall. You Try again. I resolved to give something up, it doesn’t mean that you give it up ON New Years Day or else. I really had to reconcile this idea of what it means to make a resolution. So of course I, being the firm student I am and believer that things need to be backed up, of course googled the definition of resolution. Among those found:

resolution:  a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something. b) the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc. c) the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.
Never does it state to GIVE up something or that it is immediate. Notice words like course of action. method. procedure. determination! I was flawed in my thinking. I was putting myself into personal turmoil. I also read some other relevant articles to what I was going though and realized I was half assing. I was not being commited to the resolutions I was making. I was saying I wanted something but not putting the actions into place. I was saying I want to give up something but putting myself in environments to be easily tempted. I was not treating myself the way I should have. Again. I was flawed.  So I did begin to ease up on myself. To take a step back and ask what I would tell someone else who wasn’t me. Plan your Change. Take Action. Don’t say one thing and do another. If you want to be more organized, BE more organized. By the organizers. Take the time to use them. Make habits.
I feel better already.

2 thoughts on “Resolving to evolve”

  • I am not sure why we can be harder on ourselves than we ever would be to a friend…but I’m glad when you needed to be, you were a friend to yourself.

  • onebaddboo

    Great read. I love the student in you!!! LOL Good luck with making good habits and understanding, it’s ok to fall, as long as you get back up!!!

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