** OLD POST SAVED IN 2016***
I went to start a new post on all things new and where I see this going and saw this post sitting. Instead of deleting, it seemed more fitting to let these thoughts out into the universe where they were supposed to go + I feel it might be perfect segue for where I envision this site going as I am no longer the girl from 2008 who started this site. Or the eager blogger who revamped in 2010 and again in 2012. 10 years with this blog! Holy COW batman!
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I used to pride myself on a job well done. I used to pride myself on using my “smarts” to navigate situations. I prided myself on being a jack of all trades, being someone who could easily adapt to to various situations with finesse. It was a prideful moment to navigate situations for which I felt fundamentally unprepared on top and without showing my naïveté. Not today. Not yesterday and definitely not tomorrow.
As I grow into the positions of leadership that I sit in, I realize that a job well done isn’t enough. I’m annoyed when put in positions of under preparation (either due to my fault or others).
Most recently, I was asked to prepare for a budget meeting. My department was given or budget a week after all other departments. We were asked to present our current budget and what we would do with a 10% cut. Now, when your department only had a 25k budget to begin with and you received only a portion of your proposed amount that’s frustrating, right?! So I spend a week:, solely focused on this budget, grinding it out. To get notified the day before that we have to present more on why our department deserves to exist and what we’ve done since being founded in 2013 (for me it’s been 1 year with the leadership team). Then I get to the meeting and they want a totally different presentation and they barely discussed the budget. Tina Buddhist chant !
As an administrator, it’s easy to get caught in deficit minded thinking. To feel that we’re giving the students all the resources but they won’t take advantage of it. And when you work in an area dedicated to decreasing the achievement gap among underrepresented students at a PWI within the same division with a department that believes it is their job to serve the elite students and deserve all the resources it’s frustrating. How to get these people to see things from the equity minded approach? That it is the institutions responsibility to move these students forward to graduation? That our department can’t do this alone or keep having to defend the need for a department that promotes access and equity. I’m tired of university’s believing that issues of diversity and access have a casual relationship. While their may be a pair ice correlation between a higher level of diversity and increased access for historically underrepresented students there is no data to support. Second, diversity is a loose term. Anyway, I’m getting beside myself with frustration…