Today’s long-awaited (haha) Spreading Sunshine is dedicated to dating! Why all the dating posts? Because some of the stuff that I’ve encountered as a newly single twenty-something has me confused. And apparently I’m not alone. Me and my homegirl TB were just gchatting away about guys (and maybe this is just NJ guys) and their lack of dating etiquette. TB made a good point that its time to get back to basics. People somehow think that dating is either an exclusive relationship or a Friends with benefit relationship. NO!! Dating is dating. Going out and having a good time, not chilling in the house! And it doesn’t necessarily include hooking up! A girl doesn’t want to have to explain this. All we girls want is to go out, laugh, and have a good time. We can do fun (FREE) stuff. NOt every date has to be an all-star event. But that’s not to say we don’t want to get dressed up and cute. I have been DYING to wear this cute outfit I have in my closet. It’s a PERFECT date outfit. But unfortunately, no luck yet. Is it asking too much to have a guy give me a reason to get all dressed up? It would be nice for him to call me, YES CALL, me and say “get dressed I’m picking you up” and then we have a night on the town. I miss those days. And I shouldn’t miss them, I’m barely 25 for Christs Sake!!
Here are the links for this topic:
Don’t Text Me No Mo’!! UGH. It’s called communication people. We’re not tweens who are in class all day. Call Me. Plain and Simple. You can get to know me a lot quicker and better by dialing me up.
Why are you still single? The Married guy is breaking down what should be done with your time in singledom. I agree with some and not others. I do think you need to learn how to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. Saying that volunteering is going to lead to a successful relationship… not totally seeing that correlation.
18 Things not to do .. This is for when you finally have a guy who does ALL the dating steps right and you decide to invite him over for some ‘Wham Bam’ he needs to heed these tidbits of advice. Dear Sirs, if you’re reading. Please pay close attention to #s: 4, 7, 8, 10 and 17. ESPECCIIAALLLY 17.
#IMJUSTSAYING
Article that’s good for reading about Enjoying Dating (thanks to TB!!!) From Essence, titled: Stop Stressing Marriage and Enjoy Dating (or something like that)
BCBG Max Azria is named for the French phrase “bon chic, bon genre”—which means “good style, good attitude”—and is the lower-priced fashion arm of the company that includes Max Azria and Hervé Léger by Max Azria.
Because I enjoy little pieces of random trivia I found this extremely interesting. I can now file it away to my room of useless facts.
And here is something from the new BCBG Max Azria line: I love the color!
Best Tweet I’ve seen so far about the snow: RT @bikesnobnyc: I wish people would stop saying “snowpocalypse.” As a survivor of the 2Pacalypse I find it offensive <— that is HILARIOUS!!! Whats not hilarious is that the NJ Governor declared a state of emergency, but yet my job decided they still wanted to be open. #FAIL!!
Did I mention that I finished the book “The Last Lecture?” I thought it was soo good! It was exactly what I needed in my life. I mean, it made me think about how in life so many of us give up on our ideals and settle in with its distant cousin reality. No FAIR. It really is true: Reality Shouts; ideals whisper. – Nathaniel LeTonnere, translated . Why is it that way? I want my dreams and fantasies to be close. But now they are so far away I don’t even know what they are any more. Last lecture helped me think about what are the things I dreamed of doing when I was a kid, that aren’t too far off now.
– 1. I wanted to be lawyer when I was younger. I just had it made up in my mind that I was going to be a kickass trial attorney. So, I had it alll in my head I was going to go to college, major in Criminal Justice and then go directly to law school. NOPE! I took my first criminal justice course and found that it SUCKED!! And I one Graduate TA (Teachers Assistant) who broke it down for me: If you major in criminal justice and per chance don’t make it to law school, what are you going to do with that degree in Criminal Justice. Interesting advice. Needless to say I didn’t major in criminal justice.
–2. I then wanted to be a big-time magazine editor. But that is kind of hard when you don’t have the write contacts. Very Hard.
–3. I wanted to go teach English in Korea or China or Japan or some foreign country.
None of these things seem like things I really want to do now. So now I need to think of some new adult dreams. Its really hard to dream when reality is ice grilling you. Why is this so?
For those that don’t know Eva Mendes is my girl crush. This Bad B exuuudddeeesss sexiness!! I was in LOVE with her last Calvin Klein ad and I also love these new pics. I forget where I cam across the pics. She is H.O.T !! Caliente! LOL!! Notice she doesn’t need a fake huge ass to ooze sexy… #imjustsaying !
And is that Halle’s hot ass baby daddy?? These ads are too much…
Me and my BFF had a great conversation last night about dating issues. We talked about how dating was so much easier when you’re younger (let’s say around 19) than when your slightly older. And its true, a few years make a huge difference.
One example we said was that when your 19 you kinda have (for lack of a better term) low standards. You meet a guy and find out he lives at home in his mom’s basement. You’re cool with that, because chances are that at 19 you don’t have your own place. You don’t care too much if he has a car, because you may or may not have one. You might be OK with date that included “hanging out in my basement and watching movies.” Fast Forward to 25. If you meet a guy who says “Yeah, I live in my mom’s basement.” You might have some questions as to why.
Some people have valid reasons for living home. I know that I’ve encouraged some of my friends who have been considering moving home to do so. Hell, if I could move back home and save some money, I would. But if you meet this possible date and they say they still live at home, always lived at home, their mama takes care of them, and they have no ambition. That might pose a problem. You need all the evidence before you judge. It is wrong to write someone off as soon as you hear “home.”
At 19 you may have been more willing to communicate with someone via text. You may have been more willing to invite people over to your house. When I was 19 and in college, it was perfectly fine to meet someone, invite them over to the dorm and we hang out. Either in the communal area with my floor mates or in the room with my roommate. Now, I don’t think its acceptable to invite someone over to your house all willy-nilly. Guys, (not all just some that I have come across) seem to think that if I’m inviting you over to my house we are going to partake in some hanky-panky. No, not gonna happen. At least not with me.
Another thing that is different as you get older is how you communicate. When I was 19 I never left voice mail if I called you. I mean, even sometimes now I don’t leave one, but IF I perhaps do leave you a voice mail and you return my phone call via text. FAIL!! I will not call you again until my phone call is returned. If this is early on in our ‘courtship’ I might never call again.
True Story: I met this guy. He seemed fairly nice enough and I was in a rush, and I didn’t really know if I wanted to talk to him. So I took his number. So like a day later I decided to call. I called and left a voice mail. The next day I received a text from this person, and not just a regular text – sprint picture mail. FAIL!! SUPERFAIL!! I don’t need you sending me an old ass photo of your self saying “good Morning” all you had to do was return my call. In case you need to know. I never called back. He never returned my call and he presented himself as a lame-o . LOL
What is wrong with some of these new dating ‘rules’? I am not willing to give up faith. Someone out there knows how to do it right. I know they do.
Fret not my lovers!!! I have not quit this gig yet! My postings always slack when I enter the busy season at my full-time job. Much apologies! It also doesn’t help that I’ve been feeling completely and utterly dull lately. I’m in a life rut! But things go on..
I have a confession. Please don’t judge. Lately I’ve been clocking waaayy too many hours of the Disney channel for someone with no kids. But Phineas & Ferb and Wizards of Waverly Place always draw me in! And when nothing else is on, they reallly hit the spot. And then I was in NYC yesterday and crossed Waverly Place! I almost went looking for the Subway Sub Shop. Its true I’m a real geek at heart, and even though I think Disney breeds little child star freaks, they are good for kids.The kids who work for Disney act, sing, dance, do stand up comedy and wash your car. They are little work slaves … and their bank accounts reflect that! I wish my parents sold me to Disney. *wishful thinking* I could be rolling in the Disney dough!!
I also from time to time watch Nickelodeon shows, like Danny Phantom and Fairly OddParents, but I’m starting to feel like I’ve seen every episode. Lately I’ve been feeling like life is emulating entertainment. Nothing interests me. I am seriously just bored with everything. I haven’t even wanted to blog about shoes. SHOES!!! You know how much I love shoes, so this is serious!!I have even stopped using Twitter as much as I used to, because I just don’t feel like I have anything interesting to say. Something has definitely got to give! Stay with me though, I am actively working to change that!
It’s been awhile since I did Spreading Sunshine .. But I’m back like I never left!! On with the show!!!
I know, I know, enough with all the 2009 stuff already, but its just that so many people wrote some really cool lists. And this is the first SS of 2010!! And I do enjoy lists ever so much. I make them all the time and never do a thing on them! So you, like me, must indulge in some of this hilarious (and true) lists!
All of these sites are firsts for me. And they all bought something worth sharing on my cherry popping experience with them. I will visit again, and you should too! Especially to number 3. I love seeing things from a male point of view.
1. The 12 Biggest Pop Culture fails of 2009. Believe it or not, Balloon Boy is pop culture! This list was great, and had good honorable mentions! Read It! 2. Resolutions for You, Me, & Them. Because not only was it hilarious, it was so true! We can all rest now that we know that we aren’t alone in thinking 50 cent needs to step back. (or maybe that was just me?) Also noted here are resolutions for Lil’ Wayne : get a vasectomy. Quite humorous. Enjoy!
3. This one isn’t a list so much, but it was a fantastic read on how Sex is the ultimate compliment. You should be offended by someone who doesn’t want to have sex with you. I thought this piece was well written and entertaining!
New Year, New ME? Isn’t that what you’ve heard all week (and the last 3 weeks of 20009?) or the fact that people were leaving the past in the last decade? If you’re like me you’ve made the same resolution ten year in a row: save money, do x, and don’t do Y. And why? So we can later count our failures as we transition to the next year, and vow to do the same things over and over again?
But that’s not to knock the significance of the idea of a New Year Resolution, because to some it really is a chance to start with a clean slate. Sometimes someething may happen on New Years Eve’s Eve and you realize that you want to leave that in the past. Don’t dwell on it in the New Year, and that is what your resolution is. And it’s freaking GREAT if you can actually do it. Personally, I take the time during the year to reflect on what needs to be changed. But it’s a matter of actually doing it. In December I bought a Planner. I said I’m going to get my life more organized in 2010, but that was because that’s when the Planner started.
As we entered the new year, I vowed to take Mr. West’s advice and “Go on a living spree.” I want a year life that is full of great experiences and memories with great people. What good will it be if I lived my life and all I could remember was that I retired early at 47 and didn’t have any fun? I have made some tangible goals for the 2010 year:
1. Get into Grad School - This means taking the Graduate Record Exam. I don’t want to do it, mainly because I don’t want to have to pay $170 to take a standardized test that’s going to tell me how I fall along the range of average intelligence. I don’t believe the hype that says standardized test are an accurate measure of intelligence. But I need to build a bridge and get the eff over my personal issues and take them. Then pay the graduate school a fee for them to review my credentials to accept me. I’d be devastated not to get in.
2. Write more – not just here. Writing in general, which is to include short stories, poems, papers, whatever the heck strikes me. Music Guides me and words inspire me.
3. Read more non-fiction – at least 1 per month that doesn’t include a book for class.
4. Prioritize – pretty much, get off the internets all damn day. Yeah, I have a problem. Needs help.
5. Be more family oriented – I’ve been trying for the past year. I’m an only child, who’s not close to her mom, so sometimes I really just don’t care about family events and all those good things. But this year I’ve spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family, went out with a cousin for her birthday, and got myself a (future) god-child. They say family is all you’ve got, so let’s see . .
All in all these aren’t “New Year Goals” they are life goals, because each one will put me on the path to living life to the fullest. Do you have any (NON) New Year’s Resolutions?
I wanted to post this because every time I turn on the news someone is blaming BHO for the travesty that is the Health Care Reform Bill (or ACT, whatever). And I think people forget that the people who are editing and making it what it is are our senators & congressmen. People- Know where to point blame. All I’m saying.
And who doesn’t love a throwback to a School House Rock video??
Life without the internet is torture. Yes, I said it! I can live without cable, and I can live without phone, but the internet? Never! Maybe its because everything on TV can be found online, and probably first too! Or maybe its the whole, “I’m living in a time of instant gratification” idealogy that we’ve grown so accustomed to? Either way, the truth of the matter is that this. I, Cleo Sunshine, have a firm addiction to the internet. It’s usefulness is beyond measure. My sanity is dependent upon my connection to the world wide web. Oh, and make no mistake, not just any internet will do. I have spent the last few days vying for signal on an open network somewhere in my development, its unreliable-ness is just as bad as having NO internet. Imagine. Your biting into that delicious piece of cheesecake, and right before your teeth close around the bite, it magically disappears. How disappointed would you be? Tragic I tell you. Tragic. I think this is only slightly worse than dial-up. At least dial-up was reliable. It just took 30 years to load up one page. You could go make a 5 course dinner and come back to a page loaded only 75% with no images. Unreliable internet is like cooking on an uneven stove in your neighbors house. Half of your chicken is well done, and the other half still rare. Unedible I tell you.
I did finish the book I was reading and grow up two Sim children in this downtime. It also took me 3 days to watch Will Ferrel’s Step Brothers. The excitement and humor died after the 2nd day of buffering. The next time I’m without internet, I’m packing my bags and making a cot on the Panera floor. Or anywhere else they supply free wireless. Yup. Problem Solved.
There is soo much I want to post, but I am in transition. I have moved and our internet service isn’t up yet. I want to post from the Wordpress for BlackBerry app, but it doesn’t seem to want to work for me, and posting hyperlinks from there isn’t easy. I will be trying to sneak some posts in on this stolen shotty internet when I can!
Xerox is doing something awesome.. Take a minute to send a thank you card to a troop. I don’t support the war, but I support the men who gives their lives.
Have you ever Googled yourself. Not your email address, but your own first AND last name. I frequently google myself because I’m on the job hunt all the time and I want to make sure people aren’t finding bad things about me. I also Google the email address associated with my resume for good measure. For instance, I don’t want when people google my government name to link to my website.
Why you ask? Because, for some businesses, knowing someone has their own site can be a deterrent. What if I were to blog about their business in a negative way? I just think its better to keep the 2 separate (at least until I can make writing my full-time profession). Anywho…
One of the most interesting things I’ve found when I google myself are old reviews I’ve written on Amazon. They go back to about 2005, way before blogging was a twinkle in my eye. I just had to share them with you guys. Please excuse my horrible typing grammar from days past! I’m going to post them from oldest to newest.
Review of Destiny’s Child – Destiny Fulfilled: 9 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars great Great GREAT, November 15, 2004
I love this CD from beginning to end. I love the fact that you hear all their distinctive voices on this cd. You must go out and buy this! Here is how I rate the songs…
1.lose my breathe, great single-but once u hear the rest of the cd it loses appeal, kinda outta place tho wit the flow of the cd
2.soldier-love it, great follow up, shows that they aren’t just for pop culture, mtv… remember where u came from.. lol
3.cater 2 u-great songs for such women who promoted independent women, shows how u do have to submit to ur man sometimes to keep them
4. tshirt- i think this song is super sexy.. its so sensual, love it
5.is she the reason-every girl can relate to this song, and i love the way it flows… beautiful
6.girl-love it, makes me just wanna vibe wit my girls… u can’t have a destiny’s child song without a song about ur girls
7.bad habit-good song, not one of the best on the cd, but its still a good song
8.if-oh mi god.. i love the way they sung this song.. def. a 5 star song
9.free-nice melody, i like it
10.through with love-love it, one of the more uptempo songs on the album… i love it
11.love-one of my favorite songs on my first listen and i like it cuz i can relate to it..
ladies-this cd is for the grown n sexy, it really shows their maturity as artist, as women, and its not just a beyonce featuring Dc.. go out n buy it…
Review of Sister Souljah’s Coldest Winter Ever 4.0 out of 5 stars Worth the wait, January 25, 2005
I thought that I would never read this book, simply because I was always an avid reader and there were people who I thought couldn’t possibly identify a good book who were tossing this around as their favorite book. It was like everyone I knew was reading this book, so I tossed it away. However, I just completed this book and I am amazed at how well written it is, compared to other “drug game” or “ghetto” books are! Winter’s character is someone who u have sympathy for, but yet u don’t necessarily like her and u wonder-did she get what she deserved? I do recommend this book to people who read avidly and people who do not. The story line can throw u thru a loop, Souljah didn’t give u enough time to wonder what would happen next because she was one step ahead of the reader-keeping them engrossed. I give her mad props for her first novel and I hope that she does it again.
Review of Beyonce: B’Day 3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Blast from the Past, September 13, 2006
Being such a Beyonce fan, I was really looking forward to this cd. I even went in bought it in a world of free file sharing and all that good stuff, only to find Beyonce drifting backwards. While the cd is not a “bad” cd, it certainly is not a woman’s cd. This cd reminds me of the Writings on the Wall era of Destiny’s Child, and has not shown her growth into a woman. The ideas were there, but were not expressed as well as they could have been. That is where my disappointment lies. I give her 4 stars because of tracks like Resentment, Irreplaceable, and Ring the Alarm, where her skills truly shine, and I also applaud her creative attmepts. However, I feel that B has immersed herself too deeply in her role as Deena in Dreamgirls, she has said that she wrote this album in character, about things she felt Deena should have done or said. I think she needs to seperate that role from her real life, it was acting… so be like other actors and move on!
Review of Eric Jerome Dickey’s Chasing Destiny 5.0 out of 5 stars At his best!! , September 14, 2006
I love, love, loved this book. After being disappointed by some novels I had been reading over the past few months, I looked forward to this being my end of summer, back to school read before I had to delve back into poetry of the African Diaspora, and all that hard stuff, lol. This book was so good I read it in one day, I couldn’t tear myself away from the drama that was unfolding between Carmen, Billie, and Destiny. I love the way Dickey always intertwines all his characters, so that when you find out your jaw is dropping. Dickey captures relationships for what they really are; hard, confusing, and confusing parts of our life that we can’t avoid. And he makes you understand why they happen like that, and thats what I love about him. Dickey also, almost always, has the struggling male character in his novels, such as Drive me Crazy, Liars Game, etc., and yet you find sympathy in their struggle, and relatablity. I recommend this book to any fan of EJD and anyone who is looking for a good read. Being the book junkie that I am for African American fiction, I wouldn’t steer you wrong!
Review of Eric Jerome Dickey’s Waking with Enemies 2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Good, just not great, August 13, 2007
I was looking forward to this book ever since I closed the back cover to Sleeping with Strangers. While Walking with Enemies was good, it wasn’t what I was expecting. I felt that this book, along with SWS had too many pop culture references. For examples, there was an awkwardly placed reference to Vh1’s Flavor of Love show in WWE. There wasn’t as much cat & mouse chase as I would have liked and some of the situations were a little too unreal (Arizona’s circumstances). Too many curveballs for one novel. There were a few dead spots, but overall it was a good read, but I would have to say that SWS was a better book. This one had a lot of background info on the characters which was great on developing the story…but I wanted to see more cat & mouse between Gideon and Bruno.
Review of Terry McMillan’s The Interruption of Everything
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Interrupted , December 7, 2007
I just finished this book yesterday and while I enjoyed it for gym reading. I felt that it was a little slow in the beginning. The ending left me wanting more. I had questions, what would happen between Marilyn and Gordon? What was the time period that passed in this book, there was no definite sense of weeks, months or days. I admit that I was sad about the death of the main characters sister, but I couldn’t imagine frail Authurine giving Leon the speech she gives in the final chapter. It didn’t go well with the story line they had for her character.
Review of Marilyn Monroe’s God Don’t Play
3.0 out of 5 stars Not quite enough , July 2, 2008
I expected so much more from this book than what Mary Monroe offered. Not only was it predictable, it was slow. I read both the predecessors to this book and someone hoped that our protagonist, Annette wouldn’t be the same “I can’t do anything without Rhoda naiveté” that blessed us in the first two novels. In this novel we become more familiar with Rhoda’s daughter, Jade. Jade is god-daughter to Annette, who also has her own young daughter, Charlotte. Jade, despite being a petite small girl, is big trouble for Annette causing her to lie and deceive Rhoda, which weighs heavily on Annette. But somewhere in this book, you get tired of Annette’s affinity for Jade. Or at least I did. I began to wonder, when is enough enough? How come this big as house woman, can’t stand up to this teenage girl? Annette’s irrational behavior eventually begins to annoy me and also the lack of speed. This novel peaked way too late. Given this same material I feel it could have been much more of a page turner.
The last one written in July 2008 was about 1 month before I started blogging on www.desiresinspiration.wordpress.com and I can honestly see the progression in my grammar and syntax over the course of the reviews. IT could be that I graduated with a degree in Journalism in 2007 or just writing practice? Either way, I hope to continue to write and improve on it. I think too many people get caught up in the idea/act of “celebrity” blogging. I do this because I LOVE writing. I don’t post more of my personal things because, well frankly I don’t want to bore people.
Every year some new words are the ‘it’ words to say. 2009 had some beauties… The ones I thought worth noting:
1. SEXTING: I never say this word. But it’s a shortened form of ’sex-texting” and apparently its rampant in teens these days. Makes me sooo happy I have no kids!
2. Public Option: The word heard ’round the world! The health care debate is still strong and controversial. How many people reallllly know what a ‘public option’ is? I mean, do you reealllyy??
3. Auto Tone: T-Pain has ruined us! I mean, autotone isn’t new, but since T-Pain got in the game, everyone is using it. And 2009 had so much more of it than usual. It even has an iPhone app. shoot me.
Of course you know you can find the rest of the list on TIME but I didn’t find it as interesting. I mean, they didn’t even have C’mon Son or Kanye Shrug listed!! And those are far more catch worthy than some of the ones they have listed. Hell the word hashtag was more popular than Wise Latina (bet you don’t even know what that’s a reference to!!).
Cleo Sunshine is a lover, friend, blogger, writer, journalist. I love to live life and enjoy it. I'm a Jersey girl tried & true! This blog isn't strictly news or entertainment, but its definitely opinion. Come join me & experience life under the sun w/ Cleo.
For those that don’t know Eva Mendes is my girl crush. This Bad B exuuudddeeesss sexiness!! I was in LOVE with her last 
And is that Halle’s hot ass baby daddy?? These ads are too much…
New Year, New ME? Isn’t that what you’ve heard all week (and the last 3 weeks of 20009?) or the fact that people were leaving the past in the last decade? If you’re like me you’ve made the same resolution ten year in a row: save money, do x, and don’t do Y. And why? So we can later count our failures as we transition to the next year, and vow to do the same things over and over again?