Lately, I’ve just been an uber positive person living by the motto, things will work out. I used to (and occasionally still) fret about the “what ifs” and “what could be’s” but why? What good will it do? Now, I’m not constantly worried about the small things or the whys and hows. I’m more at peace with myself and the world I’m in. I want to enjoy the good moments in life and focus on them instead of tarnishing them with thoughts of how it could be better or why it isn’t another way, or even how quickly it could change.
I have to say that I have @Jess_Dubb to thank for my amazingly new positive outlook on life… In junction with all the good things that have happened to me (like a new job) Dubb has always given positive yet REAL advice and comments when we chat. And reading her blog is always inspiring because she’s open and honest about herself on her blog. We used to have these bbm convos where I would be incessantly worrying about things I had no control over. For what! Dubb would make me realize I was only harming myself by worrying. I am sooo appreciative of that. It allows me to just enjoy the good in life. And you know what, life is good! Even if I don’t have everything I could want. I have all that I need and by having a positive outlook I’m opening myself up for more good to come. (Do I sound like a groupie? ) Although we don’t talk as much these days I still <3 Dubb. And one day we shall parlay all over the ATL, NYC, or even better Cali!
I find myself trying to share these good spirits with friends and others and that makes it even better! Check out these two posts by the big homie Diq and see if you can figure out where my influence comes in. I’m happy that my friend has discovered an outlet in blogging and hopes she keeps it up!
Let me not pretend I don’t get angry or frustrated or annoyed. I do.. But its fleeting. I’m very content to just be. When things go wrong (and they have) I know someone / something will work out. I think about a quote my friends mom said a long time a go. “It’ll all be OK in the end. If its not OK, its not the end. ” #wordstoliveby
Everyone says they want to meet that nice guy / girl that they can take home to meet mama … And this may be true, and all this dating tom-foolery is just a means to get to the end result. However some people you meet may be . full of shit . .for a nice term. Usually a person who falls into this category will reveal themselves in their approach. It can be easy to miss the signs or it can be obvious. You have to be wise enough to know and be able to shut it down. Trust me. You’ll be better in the end..
One of my pet peeves is this :: You are approached by a guy. And he asks or hints if you have someone special in your life. You say yes (whether this is true or not doesn’t matter) and he hits you with some of these lines ::
1. I’d still like to keep in touch with you..
2. Your man doesn’t let you have friends?
3. I just want to get to know you..
What kind of scalawag do you take me for nword? Sometimes they don’t even stop there. They continue with the infamous line :
‘Does he make you happy?’
What the fuck! If I was the kind of girl who wanted to fuck around on my Boyfriend, I would have said NO I don’t have one. When a guy hits me with any of the above his intentions are immediately clear- you just wanna smash. I’m sorry kind sir, I’m not the good-time girl you’re looking for..
Immediately I’m turned off to this approach by guys and NOTHING you can say can convince me to give you a way to contact me. No you cannot have my BBM pin number, nor can you add me as a friend on Facebook. What you can do for me is drive off a bridge. Get some respect. I blame the girls that fall for this for the reason it perpetuates.
This post was inspired by the gentleman who approached me in the waiting area for the train the other day after a long day. (btw commuting is tiring). I happened to be sitting there, typing up something in my Blackberry while listening to music in my headphones. This person sat next to me for a few minutes before tapping me on my shoulder. Um, do you NOT see my headphones? Not only was I not interested, I just was in a bad mood. After I said I had a boyfriend, the conversation proceeded as this:
“How long you been together?”
Me: A few years.
Him: Oh why ya’ll don’t live live together?
Me: Um, it aint for everybody.
him: I’d like to keep in touch with you.
me: o_O. No, thats not appropriate.
Thankfully my train approached at that precise moment. I walked quickly to a seat next to someone else. Leave me be.
*sigh* This song has been on my mind for a few days now. FEAR. How many people are ready and willing to admit what they fear?And I’m not talking, fear of heights and spiders. I’m talking when was the last time you thought about the fears Jazz Sull is talking about (by the way, when is her next album coming out??)
I recently acqiured a composition notebook and labeled it ‘The Book of Truths … or my version of it’
My first entry was about fear. Fear of letting go. I can be pretty lackadaisical about many things in life, and I am for the most part .. but I’m very guarded. I fear letting that guard down. Many people think they know me because I share trivial stories about my day to day life (which can be pretty entertaining and amusing in my own small sort of way) but not many know about the nuts and bolts of Cleo.. and I’m scared of that. Being vulnerable is one of the hardest positions to put yourself in. At least to me. So the next entry .. while on a totally different topic tackled fear of a whole different nature. It’s amazing how many of life’s problems can be attributed to fear. When was the last time you asked yourself, what am I scared of? Is it possible to be scared of success and greatness? Fear doesn’t always hold you back, it sometimes catches you when you least expect it. Fear prevents you from letting go of long time friends and habits. Fear can prevent you from taking a detour in life that may show you a better route. Fear can cause you to constantly compare yourself to others. They aren’t scaring you, you’re scaring yourself.
I vow to tackle my fears (slowly) one by one. I feel like we’re constantly calling ourselves ‘A work in Progress’. When have you met someone who said I love me, allll of me flaws and all? Well, I love who I am. Who I’ve become. I’m not a work in progress. I am progress.
@MsTerryMcMillan: Writing is a way to attack pain instead of hiding from it.
@MsTerryMcMillan: There is ALWAYS something to write about.
-There are some people who fill my twitter timeline with the inspiration I’ve been missing in my life. Thank you Ms. McMillan …
I’ve decided to re-establish my original blog, www.desiresinspiration.wordpress.com as a haven for my writings … I’ve updated a theme, added a new pic, and I absolutely adore the new look. Please check it out sometime and give honest feedback.. I’m also going to be updating this blog more frequently .. I am trying to get my <3 back!
One day I awake to a text instructing me to look up Pegging. Now, being the curious journalist that I am, of course this is the first thing I did when I finally climbed out of bed. Google had many different links and after finding a forum and reading the handy urban dictionary I texted back:
” so.. Um.. Let me get this right, pegging is a woman doing a man with a strap on. ”
O_o.
I was completely not expecting that. And I wanted to tread lightly because this text came from someone I like. I didn’t want to offend him if this was something he was into (which he is NOT! *whew*). I guess we learn something new everyday, and the world of sex is constantly changing as people become more sex obsessed at younger ages. Maybe I’m boring because I’m not into group sex and other variations of sex that exist these days… When I hear of things like this so many questions come to my mind
For instance:
1. How do you introduce this into a completely hetero sexual relationship?
2. How does a man determine he potentially might like this? Or does a woman happen to think, ‘hhmm.. I wanna ass rape my husband. I wonder how he might like it..’
3. Does this mean that the guy might potentially have homosexual tendencies? And how does this go with what people say about men actually liking a little anal stimulation?
seee.. I could just go on and on and I’m not joking…I’m really trying to get a feel for how this comes to fruition.
On the forum I discovered there was a girl interested in trying it on her present lover. I immediately got a flashback to the episode of Sex in the City where Charlotte proclaims ” I don’t want to be Mrs. UptheButt.. No one marries the up the butt girl” ..
Now forever this man is going to be Mr. UptheButt ..
Hhmmm..
I didn’t post a pic because they were too explicit and I, of course, am very PG. I am here to inform, not corrupt the babies. Gotta love the babies!
Lately I’ve been trying lots and lots of new make-up items. And some I’ve loved and some I’ve only barely liked. So here are a few of my New favorite things because why would I tell you about the things I didn’t like? You can find most (if not ALL) of these things at your local Sephora. And definitely sign up for the Sephora Beauty Insider to earn free things. Life’s so much better with free things.
Stila Smudgestick eyeliner in Peacock :: Oh my gooodness this color prevails on all! I wear it and so does my friend of a darker complexion, and it looks good on both of us. A+ Stila. And its $20 bucks at Sephora. I might like this better than Lancome’s Black Lapiz. Maybe ;/It goes great with anything. If you like to keep it casual in neutral color clothing, this will add instant jazz to that outfit. Or if you like neutral eyeshadow shades (I usually wear gold) this is great to line with.
Nars EyeShadow base :: I never thought of using a base/primer until I got this sample. Even then I debated on using it. But I got tired of days when my eyeshadow would cake into the creases of my eyes. No bueno. This is just a little tiny brush and you swipe the eyelid. (or at least that’s what I did since it didn’t really come with instructions). It gives great long lasting eyeshadow.
Lancome Cils Booster XL+ Clinique Lash Doubling mascara :: I have short thin eyelashes and mascara can help them look thicker. But THIS combo gives me LASHES!! Total adoration for this. I’m giving up Maybelline great lash. More $$ but well worth it. I’ve tried many mascara’s but this one takes the cake. I’ve been instructed by Diq to try the Lancome HYPNOSE Drama mascara… but this works so well I don’t want to find something better. More money than my old Maybelline, but definitely well worth it.
And last but definitely not least –
Nars Stylo :: I’ve had this for awhile and man, I totally love this as eyeliner. It goes on quick and easy and stays all day. On days I want an EXTRA dramatic eye, I use the Clinique very black pencil as a base liner and lay the Nars stylo over it. BOOM dark eyes that last aaaallllll day, no fade. (Thanks Diq for the tip!!) One day I was at the Nars counter in Nordstrom and the nice young gentleman told me that tip is reversible, after I told him that I think it was time for a new one because it wasn’t going on AS dark. So I promptly went home and flipped it. Got some all over my hands, but who cares, it was just like new!My friend Diq is like my make-up consultant. She spent many years working for Clinique and is always giving me tips and hints. But if it was up to her my whole makeup/beauty regime would consist of only clinique products. At least she’s brand loyal. I now spend way too much money at Clinique. Macy’s loves me for it though
If you can’t try ANY of these by way of FREE sample (as I did) I highly recommend you do so! PRONTO
Can we please lower the price of the iPad? I’m not saying you have to lower it to the prices of a Kindle or Nook, but can we idk, drop the price to about $350 for the base model and $450 for the 16 gig + 3g? This would greatly aid me in my quest to own an iPad.
Money and blood don’t mix like two dicks and no bitch
Find yourself in serious shit
Big didn’t say anything new in this line from his song Ten Crack Commandments but it is the truth! Money, friends, and family do NOT mix! Trust me as I am severing a friendship over money. It’s a sad thing too, we’ve been friends since elementary school. If a friend tries to make you feel like you’re less of a friend because you won’t lend them money, add them onto your cell phone account, or any other account please believe that person is not a friend. Why does me offering you money and/or a service make me a better friend? Am I less of a friend if I say no?If my decision to not lend you money is going to offend you. All I got to say is two fingers! *deuces*
It’s not just money either. I lent a friend a book before and she lost it. No biggie. I lent her my new bottle of nail polish and she lost it. She offered to give me money for the items, but it soured how I looked at her. Because honestly,and this is probably just me, I’m not going to take that money and rebuy the book or the nail polish. But now I’m mad because you’ve just broken my series. I’ll always be missing one. Tough things these friendships are. Grandfather says there is no such thing as friends. or love. But that’s a whole different day.
I said this to my friend as we discount shoe shopped today. She was looking at a pair of shoes and said something of the sort, these are so cute and fun but I have no where to wear them to… I told Dubb my quote and she likes & believes in it. It’s true. You ever have a pair of shoes you HAVE to find the perfect place to go out and wear them? You search for any reason to wear them. OH no, thats just me .. ooops
The other day I sent WK an email that simply said ‘ Pick a number between 1 – 50′. I didn’t tell her what it was for and when she would know the result. She picked 32. (I love that I have a friend who doesn’t question when I ask her something completly random and maybe nonsensical before answering). After she answered she asked me what this was for.. It was because I came across this site doing the blog stroll one day http://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/ and I really wanted to write for one but couldn’t just pick one .. and I pick my own random number and don’t like it .. well I’ll just switch it lol ..
So #32 – If not now, then when?
OMG she could NOT have picked a better number. Why do you ask? Just days before I asked her this I was offered a new job position with a different company. This was HUGE news because I have been DYING for a new position in work – either at my same office or a different office. As much as I do enjoy working at my current (well actually former) job I did feel it was necessary to leave. To take a step into the unknown. So yes, the question to myself as I struggled with leaving this place was If not now, then when ? Great job WK. GREAT!!!
Do you know I worked at my current job starting as a Work Study student my freshmen year of college. When I graduated I accepted a full time job there even though it wasn’t in line with my major (Journalism & Media Studies with an English minor). Jobs were scares then as well (2007) and I took it. Three years later I still don’t see the potential for growth and I felt completely taken for granted and not appreciated. I also felt I couldn’t reach my full potential there. I mean, dammit I’m brilliant. Someone just needs to realize it besides me.
The biggest news here is that I have a new job, which I’m hoping will leave more time for blogging (especially once I get the iPad of my dreams). I’m extremely nervous yet exciting. In the words of Man in the Moon “I’m a clusterfuck of emotions.” But if I don’t feel this now, then when? When is change not scary? Is it possible for change to NOT be scary? What if I suck? I pray that I don’t suck. The only things I do and suck at are sports …
I am super excited to report this news.. Peep the following email I received just hours ago :
We have received your submission for inclusion in EROS 369: An Anthology for Adults Vol. II. We are pleased to inform you that your submission will be included in this year’s publication!
Congratulations!
–
This is excellent. I don’t know if you remember but back in January I published ‘ My (non) New Year’s Resolutions‘ and one of them was
“2. Write more – not just here. Writing in general, which is to include short stories, poems, papers, whatever the heck strikes me. Music Guides me and words inspire me.”
I’m giddy. So many good things happening. If you build it they will come tight? Oh so when the book comes out .. I’m hoping all of you buy a copy!!!
Dubb sent me a GREAT read today about long distance love, I absolutely LOVEEEDD it .. my response: When am I gonna get my e-love? Of course I was joking (i think) but I started thinking of my e-life. And while I haven’t found the e-love of my life like others (barf barf) I have found an E-BFF!! yes, I’m talking about @Jess_Dubb, who I have to stop myself from referring to as Dubb IRL .. because my friends side-eye me like who the fuck is Dubb?? *does this make me weird??*
Me & Dubb’s relationship has progressed sort of like the couple who I read about today. First we were following each other on twitter, and through our tweets & @ replies discovered the other was hella cool. We also checked out each others blogs and commented on each other .. Eventually some emails were exchanged and then we became BBM friends. Now, our BBM relationship didn’t jump off right away .. there were some short convos at first. We were kinda feeling each other out I think, then it later progressed to full on events
.. WAIT WAIT WAIT!!
Lemme back up .. there were some Google Wave 3somes with @HollywoodHeat (Google wave came & flopped huh??) and that was my first 3 as well (Dubb blogged it, check it out) ok .. so BBM progressed to daily BBM convos. We talked about so many different things, relationships, school, random shit, family, etc., Then we started Gchatting during the work day because I mean, we both work and we can pretend we are doing work if we are facing a computer screen (#imjustsaying).. and then it happened last week, We talked on the phone *shocked face* Idk, maybe Dubb didn’t like my phone voice, since she hasn’t called me since ?? (I kid, I kid, BBM suits me just fine!)
And a few weeks back I slowly started planning my trip to ATL this summer.. and Dubb shall be my tour guide .. and when she comes to the Dirty Jerz this summer, you best believe we shall play in NYC and have a blast. And we’re both looking at graduate schools on the West Coast. Me + Dubb on the strip w/ the sun on our backs blogging it up .. Yup .. sounds fun!
Maybe I got what I needed online, just not how I expected??
I began to follow @CerealDaters one day after a #FF (Follow Friday for non-twitterers) suggestion from someone [I think I'm the last person who actually clicks on those] but it was a great click. I love this blog. So real .. and being a newly single gal (is 5 months still new? ) its great stuff. This one in particular was something that summed me up. I tend to not go out with someone if I can automatically tell I’m not interested and I can tell very easily too .. But then I said, you know what, just go. Get some free dinner. Then I came across this post “Six reasons Why Dating for Dinner is OK” on Cereal Daters … FREAKING AWESOME!! I love when my thoughts are brought to fruition by someone else, lol.
Thanks guys for showing me I’m not alone, and that its not entirely selfish. My fav line from the article comes from #6:
Who the eff cares? I take myself far too seriously. I won’t be the first girl to go out for the hell of it and I won’t be the last. I’ve got all these years of pointless dating to catch up on
To read the article, and see what the other 5 reasons are, check them out: Cereal Daters
But if you don’t want to click, here are the 6 reasons ( you will have to click for the GREAT reasoning and blurbs for each one )
1. Men need chances
2. Men lie, cheat, and just do awful things to women
3. It’s not really dishonest if you’re gettign something in return
Cleo Sunshine is a lover, friend, blogger, writer, journalist. I love to live life and enjoy it. I'm a Jersey girl tried & true! This blog isn't strictly news or entertainment, but its definitely opinion. Come join me & experience life under the sun w/ Cleo.
eat to line with.
combo gives me LASHES!! Total adoration for this. I’m giving up Maybelline great lash. More $$ but well worth it. I’ve tried many mascara’s but this one takes the cake. I’ve been instructed by Diq to try the Lancome HYPNOSE Drama mascara… but th
is works so well I don’t want to find something better. More money than my old Maybelline, but definitely well worth it.
My friend Diq is like my make-up consultant. She spent many years working for Clinique and is always giving me tips and hints. But if it was up to her my whole makeup/beauty regime would consist of only clinique products. At least she’s brand loyal. I now spend way too much money at Clinique. Macy’s loves me for it though 
a sad thing too, we’ve been friends since elementary school. If a friend tries to make you feel like you’re less of a friend because you won’t lend them money, add them onto your cell phone account, or any other account please believe that person is not a friend. Why does me offering you money and/or a service make me a better friend? Am I less of a friend if I say no?If my decision to not lend you money is going to offend you. All I got to say is two fingers! *deuces*
Dubb sent me a GREAT read today about long distance love, I absolutely LOVEEEDD it .. my response: When am I gonna get my e-love? Of course I was joking (i think) but I started thinking of my e-life. And while I haven’t found the e-love of my life like others (barf barf) I have found an E-BFF!! yes, I’m talking about