January 26, 2011
The other day I made my first reference to my next big birthday, 30! OMG I can’t believe I’m already thinking of 30! WTF! I remember being 16 and saying the perfect age was 22. And I just celebrated my 25th. Sheesh. WOW.
Here’s how the scenario went. I was in the shower, just doing some idle shower thinking (I tend to come up with some novel ideas and premises while showering). And I thought of getting Lasik, and I said “I’ll get Lasik for my 30th birthday gift to myself” Like, it wasn’t even a second thought. I’m miffed. It’s official. I’m old. When did this happen?
I didn’t even get nostalgic when I referenced it. It didn’t hit me until 3 days later when I mentioned it to a friend. I was like woah, did I just say When I turn 30??? I have several friends who are closer to 3o (or past 30) and I totally adore them. I mean, I still have some years to go and I hope to pack them full of interesting and life fulfilling events. I am looking forward to the next few years. I expect BIG things for myself!
Posted in eternal reflections | Tags: blasphemy, curiousity, random, rants | No Comments »
January 23, 2011
My colleague posted this photo to her Facebook account today and I immediately tagged myself in it. I think its extremely thought provoking and I need to go to the racism exhibit she visited in Boston this weekend. She mentioned how they had a part of the exhibit where they took people of different ethnic/racial backgrounds and changed their skin tone but none of their features to see how people would identify them. According to her the results will shock you. It led to an interesting discussion on bone structure and racial identity.
Racial identity is something I think about, probably because me and my friends joke that I’m racially ambiguous, but I identify as a young, black woman. Whenever someone asks “What are you?” and I reply, “I’m just black” they are never satisfied with that answer and then pressure me to “admit it, you’re something else” Or they might even say, “Well you mom and dad might be, but their parents aren’t.” I know that I don’t look “just black” but it bothers me that people don’t accept that answer from me, because being black, you’re blessed with being so versatile and beautiful at any shade.
Here’s a rare photo of me:
I think that a large part of racial identity depends on your upbringing. Sure, I may be mixed but I was raised in a “black” household, with black grandparents and a black family, so being black is ALL I know. I get tired of people trying to place me in a check box. I do not check other or bi-racial on my census forms, I check BLACK, not of Hispanic origin (because that’s important I guess)
Posted in eternal reflections | Tags: america, racism, random | 3 Comments »
November 16, 2010
Hijacked from Dubb who hijacked it from someone else … OH the wonderful world of blogging!
5 famous people you’d like to meet.
* Warren Buffett
* Steve Jobs
* Janet Jackson
* Toni Morrison
* Kanye West (yeah i said it)
5 books that affected your life.
* the coming of age in Mississippi – Ann Moody
* eat, pray, love – Elizabeth Gilbert
* Why we Can’t Wait – Dr. Martin Luther King
* The Bluest Eye – Toni Morrison
* Eyewitness Auschwitz: Three Years in the Gas Chambers – Filip Muller
5 favorite movies.
* grease
* Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
* The Nightmare Before Christmas
* The 5th Element
* Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium
5 addictions.
* reading
* shoes
* gourmet jelly beans
* eye liner
* Benihana’s lunch special
5 things that turn you On.
* nice large hands
* well read
* diverse music taste
* intelligent
* a nice smile, generic but true
5 things that turn you completely Off.
* insecurity
* negative attitude
* over confidence (read:cocky)
* compulsive liar
* not stable
5 rules that you live by
* You’re only responsible to yourself, until you have kids
* If you love it, go for it
* Don’t talk about it, be about it!
* troubles don’t last always
* Treat others how you want to be treated
Posted in Cleo's Rants, entertainment, eternal reflections | Tags: change, fashion, random | 1 Comment »
November 9, 2010
SO.. the other day I had the brilliant idea for my future son’s name. In the past I was absolutely in love withe name Quincy or Quinton (I wanted him to be called Q and be HOT like Omar Epps in Love & Basketball LMAO). But last night I decided (unless my future husband in against it) that I want my son to be named after my uncles. I do want a junior as well, so if my husband is able to convince me to have multiples then I can use both. My uncles names are Glenn Tracy and Spencer Eric. Now of course that is four names and I wont use all four, so I’m thinking my child’s name will be Glenn Eric or Eric Glenn. I love the name Glenn, even though we call him Uncle Tracy. Growing up he had a motto, “If you swole, say you swole,” for when you had an attitude and wanted to pretend things were OK. He’s lived in Utah for the past like ten years – I know right, who lives in Utah???My uncle Eric, he has passed away. He was just a silly man, all my family calls him Eggie (because he had an egg head) and I love the relationship he had with my grandmother. He was always there to do things for her around the house when no one else was. So I told my grandmother my idea and she said, “Oh really, when you going to get started?” and I had to tell her she at LEAST 5 years to go and I need to find this future husband first. #goodtimes.
Posted in eternal reflections | Tags: family, future, random | 1 Comment »
November 1, 2010
So.. I reached a point where its time to break up with my phone. I will gladly admit that I’m addicted to my phone and its always within reach.. But after this weekend, I realize maybe I shouldn’t gladly admit that.
The Event:
A slip and fall in the shower that resulted in bruising of my arm and a broken towel rack. Blackberry was ringing and I wanted to see who it was. Part of this anxiousness to see who it was, was due to the fact I was hoping it was a certain gentleman caller (it was not). So not only did I still answer the phone after the slip – while hanging half out the tub- it wasn’t a fully gratifying conversation. So now, I not only have no where to hang my towels my arms are still sore. 
#fail . And I wasn’t home alone so there are people to bear witness to the tragedy of my clumsiness.
Moral of the story. Cut back on my blackberry obsession. Usually I don’t take it in the bathroom with me, and maybe there’s good reason.
Anyone else with a seemingly similar phone #fail?
Posted in eternal reflections | Tags: blackberry, entertainment, random, technology | 1 Comment »
October 20, 2010
5. Be more family oriented – I’ve been trying for the past year. I’m an only child, who’s not close to her mom, so sometimes I really just don’t care about family events and all those good things. But this year I’ve spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family, went out with a cousin for her birthday, and got myself a (future) god-child. They say family is all you’ve got, so let’s see . .
So, lately I’ve been conducting a social experiment on my family. And as I began to write my findings I remember what I wrote back in late 2009 with my (NON) New years Resolutions and I figured now as the year is winding down I can reflect back on this. I feel like lately being an only child is more apparent than ever, even though I have a large family (my aunt had 11 (yes 11) children.) Growing up this was awesome and I never had time to feel like an only child, but now as an adult I feel it.
The Experiment: I began to feel like my relationship with my family was a one way street. Me being the person reaching out and doing all the efforts to make this bonding and family time happen. I decided I was going to abstain from writing on Facebook walls, @’ing them on twitter ( i almost said i was going to de-friend them) and see how long before it gets noticed. Nor was I going to attend any showers, birthday parties that I was invited to because, well that’s the only time I hear from them, or if something else is needed.
Results: No contact until someone invited me to a kids birthday party. They invited me Tuesday for a party this Saturday -_-. I respectfully declined.
Now some will argue that that’s no way to treat family and you have to be there for them even if you don’t talk often. And yes, that is true. But at what point do you give that a rest. There have been countless (as in too many to count) instances where family will screw you over quicker than a friend, or an enemy. Not all family is FAMILY. When I’m having a bad day at work, I don’t call my “family.” Family is frankly, slightly overrated at times, at least in my situation.
How often do I reach out to them you ask? Well, I’ve been to like every kids party (that I was invited to) and baby shower in the past 2-3 years. And that’s a lot. My family has about 10 kids between the ages of 1-10 at this current moment.
** Note, I’m not talking about my extended family here, you know great aunts, uncles, cousins, and in-laws. This is a mere experiment with my immediate family which for me includes aunts, 1st cousins, etc.,) **
Posted in eternal reflections | Tags: family, life lesson, rambling, random | 3 Comments »
October 18, 2010
‘Single black female, addicted to retail’ my friend had this as her BBM status and immediately I knew the Kanye lyric .. and immediately related, in probably a not good way.
As I pillaged through my closet over the weekend I realized my own addiction to retail. And I realized who my enabler was, Salé. Better know to the masses as SALE.
How many times are we like oh no! I have to get to “XXXXX” before this great sale ends? I know that I am guilty of this, and it was extremely apparent as I looked at a pair of old DKNY jeans I had thrown in a bag to take advantage of gaps ‘denim recycling sale’. Bring in your old jeans and get 30% off a pair of new gap jeans. I was soo excited to take advantage of this. I love the pair of Gap jeans I have. So, I went into gap over the weekend and they actually were offering 40%off jeans sans donation. I didn’t buy any however.
Then I thought of my Macy’s coupons that I was sad I didn’t get to use before the expiration date, the sadness was quickly averted when I opened my mailbox last week to four NEW coupons. It made me stop and say, dude. there is always gonna be another ‘great sale’ around the corner. It really is true. And the reality is that I’m buying a bunch of things I probably don’t need for the sake of the sale. What has the sale ever gotten me(besides strapped?) Most of the things I absolutely love and adore (ie those Rachel Roy pumps) I am willing to pay full price for! Or the pair of Steve Madden boots I’m about to fill you in on.
Someone said , or I read somewhere, its not really a sale if you don’t need it. And I can now see that this is true… And that’s why I didn’t rush back to gap (even though I do neeeed jeans) for a pair of jeans. I mean, who needs $40 jeans when I can wear $6 leggings on the weekend? #imjustsaying?
The fact of the matter is I’m a product of my environment where we love to shop and around every corner is an opportunity to spend money. I need to exercise my right to say no!
Posted in Cleo's Rants, eternal reflections | Tags: life lesson, rambling, rants, shopping | 2 Comments »
October 17, 2010
Today I was reminded of just how much I enjoy my own company. I spend a lot of time with friends (and lovers) and just running about that I don’t get a lot of ME time. Some days I get home from work with just enough time to get ready for work the next day. But today I spent the whole day, alone. I slept until about 1pm (the result of coming home at 5:00 am from a night in NYC) and then I caught up on all the TV I’d been missing (I really dig this new cbs show with Jerry O’Connell and the guy from According to Jim) and I just was. I sat around in my sweatpants, ate leftover diner food, a pb&j and a lean cuisine and drank lots of water. I bbm’ed and aim’ed a few people, but ultimately I was able to be with ME. I missed ME. I just missed the ability to think about any and everything or nothing at all.
That’s the best thing about being alone and living alone that I miss, the ability to really enjoy my own company. Sometimes when you have someone around (roommate) you tend to just ramble your thoughts and days events to them versus thinking them over and marinating with them. I enjoy it. I didn’t always enjoy me time. There was a point in time that I always wanted to be around friends and I’ll call up a friend to go to a drive thru with me or to run tedious errangs with me. I think back on that time and maybe it was my youthful naivete or maybe I just wasn’t comfortable with myself yet. I remember the first time I went an ate at a diner alone, not takeout, it was news. Not only did I sit alone and eat i wasn’t on my cellphone the whole time. Magnificent! Maybe I got the idea from watching SATC, seeing Carrie able to be in her own company sometimes. just her and a stack of Vogue magazines on a saturday afternoon. Whatever it is, I enjoy it!
To quote the great Aristotle ” Happiness depends upon ourselves” – taken from my storage of quotes in the wonderful Blackberry!
Posted in eternal reflections | Tags: random, rants | 2 Comments »
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