25Jun 2019 by Jakora Holman No Comments
My Motherboard, My Self

My Motherboard, My Self

Mis-Adventures
I came to a realization today, that was the summation of thoughts I've been battling over the past few weeks. My realization is that somewhere the thoughts I had about other people doubting me turned into me doubting myself professionally. How did this happen? Professionally, I feel adrift. I always feel like I have so much to do, yet, I never want to do any of it, therefore I'm filling my time with everything else. I've placed immense value on my work and on my work ethic more specifically. I've been the there is no job too small that I will not help with girl forever. I am a team player who won't ask my team to do something I wouldn't do myself. My boss told me a lot to…
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11Mar 2019 by Jakora Holman No Comments

Oh, Hell Yes

Mis-Adventures
First and foremost, wordpress has changed so much since I've stopped writing here. I wanted to do something different for lent and decided to make journal-ing a practice for those 40 days as opposed to removing something from my life. Well, I'm a little behind because it's not something I think to do first anymore, but here I am. I wanted to do the journaling here on cleosunshine.com because this is near and dear to my heart and something I MISS! I can't say if I want to be CleoSunshine anymore, but it is what I have and I don't love the idea of starting over. So here's where we are since I last wrote here: Moved into a new town, into our own home. Began a leadership position at…
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05Sep 2017 by Jakora Holman No Comments
Politically Erect 

Politically Erect 

Lifestyle, Mis-Adventures
** OLD POST SAVED IN 2016*** I went to start a new post on all things new and where I see this going and saw this post sitting. Instead of deleting, it seemed more fitting to let these thoughts out into the universe where they were supposed to go + I feel it might be perfect segue for where I envision this site going as I am no longer the girl from 2008 who started this site. Or the eager blogger who revamped in 2010 and again in 2012. 10 years with this blog! Holy COW batman!   ------ I used to pride myself on a job well done. I used to pride myself on using my "smarts" to navigate situations. I prided myself on being a jack of all…
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22Jan 2015 by Jakora Holman No Comments
Luck be an old lady

Luck be an old lady

Mis-Adventures
In the past few months (year?) I said I would name each of my blog post after a Sex and the City Episode. I decided now to not only do that, but give a brief description of the episode that led to its suggestion. In "Luck be an old lady" Carrie desperately tries to get everyone together for Charlotte's "thirty-faux" birthday. Charlotte doesn't want to turn 36 because she feels she's getting old. Miranda goes to Atlantic City with the girls, feeling self-conscious about her weight. Samantha is paranoid that Richard is cheating with the entire female hotel staff. In less than 6 months I will be 30 and I feel just like  Charlotte - I was so close to my goal and now I am starting over and I…
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21Apr 2014 by Jakora Holman No Comments
The Turtle and The Hare

The Turtle and The Hare

Mis-Adventures
** this post was started on 4/21/2014 ** The quest to be fit and healthy for me often makes me feel like I am a hamster running on a wheel. I often don't know where to start, how it started and what steps to take and what defines DONE. But in the quest for health and fitness there is no finite done. You keep going on maintaining health until death, or at least that's the general idea, right? With so much information on health and fitness from thousands of sources, its kind of hard to pin point what your believe system should be on this. So this year, I took up running. I saw this quote and it was so accurate. I never imagined myself as a runner, a jogger,…
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04Feb 2014 by Jakora Holman No Comments
They Shoot Single People, Don’t they?

They Shoot Single People, Don’t they?

Lifestyle, Mis-Adventures
Before I start, I think I've decided to start using SATC episode titles to title my blog posts... they seem to fit everything. I hope I don't get sued. Onward to the topic at hand ... There are many things right now that I am wholly uninterested in. Currently, I have no interest in first dates and getting to know you. The idea of asking those questions like, "who you be with? What ya interest are? Things that make you smile and what numbers to dial," make me want to bury my head in a groundhog fashion. I just feel completely disinterested in the whole process. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely want to end my single status, but at what cost? I've signed up for freeonline dating sites before,and…
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03Feb 2014 by Jakora Holman No Comments
The Drought

The Drought

Lifestyle, Mis-Adventures
In an effort to really show that I'm serious about my future, I've taken to reading some dating books. I mean, clearly I need to do something different if I want new results. I had "Finding a Man Worth Keeping" on my bookshelf for years, but never opened it. Over the past month I've gotten about 4 chapters in. Even though its weird at first, I like that the author has you do some self-evaluation and assessments. Its sort of an "interactive" book in the way A Purpose Driven Life is. So once a week, I sit down with my notebook and see whats next. I admit, the past week or two I haven't been as diligent, because I'm not quite sure how ready for dating I am. But whose…
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12Jan 2014 by Jakora Holman No Comments
Fighting against the tide

Fighting against the tide

Mis-Adventures
I have this bad habit of starting a post, walking away because my thoughts don't feel complete and then an undisclosed amount of time passes so I no longer remember my original train of thinking ... #fail. Anyway... I hope this still makes sense " There is peace in knowing and the needing to guess where I stand. Not having to resort to decoding inference and weigh actions in relation to silence. Not having to devote any time to wondering and waiting, freed to devote myself wholly to wanting." -- Ladidahdi of Liquor,  Loans, and Love Recently I woke up feeling as though I was being tested due to recent circumstances where someone from my past was continually reaching out trying to touch me. Even though I didn't outright reject…
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05Jan 2014 by Jakora Holman No Comments
#2014orbust

#2014orbust

Mis-Adventures
On my makeshift desk I found a list titled "What Have I Learned This Year;" judging from the other notes on this torn notebook page it was written sometime in March or April because it references my Capstone opportunity. The list reads this verbatim 1. Your personality is yours. It is good, positive. Don't attempt to change it. 2. Confidence ---> you lack it must regain it. 3. Health is important but I don't work hard enough to maintain it. 4. You are smart in a way that you don't have to compare to others. 5. Stop comparing yourself. You won't eat, think, talk, sleep or do anything like others. Think for yourself. Be yourself. Challenge yourself. What are your hobbies? How well do you know yourself. This note was…
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05Sep 2013 by Jakora Holman No Comments
Life Lessions and other relevant information

Life Lessions and other relevant information

Lifestyle, Mis-Adventures
I wrote this post 9 days ago according to iNotes. I remember writing it on a plane and stopping because I was getting emotional. While that felt like months ago it was less than two weeks ago.  Days and nights seamlessly merge without much distinction or distraction, not always a bad thing to feel as if your on a continuum, unless you revel in change and growth, as I often do. Anyway, the actual post ... I've missed the space where I felt I could truly be the person I imagine myself to be. That space is here on your screen behind the guise of Wordpress. I've been away from my site and my notebook for far too long, long enough where I can't even fathom calling myself a blogger, writer or…
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17Oct 2012 by Jakora Holman 3 Comments
In the City of Sex …

In the City of Sex …

Lifestyle, Mis-Adventures
NO! Not that kind of Sex .. IDK that title just sort of came out when I went to type in the title field. .. usually titles are so hard to come up with for me, but sometimes they just flow.. So anywho .. I spent the last weekend of September on my couch watching the first half of Season Six Part 1, all part two and the first Sex and the City movie. And as I was going to bed tonight, I was thinking about how no matter how many times I watch it, I never grow to love Jennifer Hudson's character. That all you remember about her was her bad country accent and city naiveté she represents. Then it hit me. The characters from sex and the city, the people they interact…
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05Oct 2012 by Jakora Holman 2 Comments
Standards: GET Some

Standards: GET Some

Mis-Adventures
NEWSFLASH: YOu do not get my friendship as a consolation prize. What I mean by this is you (particularly a man) who may have been interested in dating are not allowed to keep talking to me every day on the basis of "I thought we were friend" if either myself or you are not interested in the other person any longer. Back Story. SO a few months ago my friend pressured me to join an online dating site. And I did it, reluctantly. I exchanged numbers with a few people and I met a few people. Maybe I will share some stories. This "friendship" person.. was someone I exchanged numbers with. We talked on the phone a few times and had great conversation. We talked about things from television shows…
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13Jan 2012 by Jakora Holman 2 Comments
Resolving to evolve

Resolving to evolve

Mis-Adventures
Pardon me as I'm still on this New  Year Resolution thing and the concept of "RESOLVE". What does it mean to make and keep a resolution, especially one rooted in change in oneself? The other day I was sitting home being very self deprecating because I had already slipped up on one of my resolutions ... Left Brain: You suck. You couldn't even stick it out for 2 full weeks? 8 days? 8 days is all you lasted, seriously? Right Brain: Relax.  Things happen. Take it easy. No Harm. You  had a good time, no? Heart: You really messed up. You know what you want, but you aren't taking the steps to get there. What are you scared of? Left Brain: You just don't know what will power is. You…
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