growing pains | Cleo Sunshine

05Jan 2014 by Jakora Holman No Comments

#2014orbust

On my makeshift desk I found a list titled "What Have I Learned This Year;" judging from the other notes on this torn notebook page it was written sometime in March or April because it references my Capstone opportunity. The list reads this verbatim 1. Your personality is yours. It is good, positive. Don't attempt to change it. 2. Confidence ---> you lack it must regain it. 3. Health is important but I don't work hard enough to maintain it. 4. You are smart in a way that you don't have to compare to others. 5. Stop comparing yourself. You won't eat, think, talk, sleep or do anything like others. Think for yourself. Be yourself. Challenge yourself. What are your hobbies? How well do you know yourself. This note was…

Trappings and other musings

Lifestyle

I was driving down a construction road where two lanes were broken down to one. I was stuck behind a Jeep Cherokee while it was dark outside and they were going about 40 miles per hour. All I could think about was how bad I wanted to get away from this car. When the lanes finally opened anger washed over me as I realized there was nothing in front of this car preventing them from driving faster. I began to wonder why it bothered me so much and faced the realization that I felt trapped. I had no where else to go. As that thought lingered, I realized how in life I reject the idea of feeling trapped, by circumstances, money, space and even time. It might be why I…

Shrink Wrap: minimizing emotions

Lifestyle

Someone told me I don't speak up for myself. Actually several people have told me I don't speak up for myself. This had led me to question what does that mean, both professionally and personally. Since this is the year (again) that im building my personal life and goals I will dive into that first. Personally, I feel that there is a part of me that's scared to be "too much" but I read a quote that said - you'll always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out all your edges, you lose your edge. I feels like depending on where I'm at physically, I'm rounding out my edges to not be too much of whatever it is…