So .. today over a nice delicious Portuguese BBQ meal me and a coworker had a discussion about women who are scandalous. Some of us often refer to them as “ain’t shit” or “rachet” or just plain “hoes”. You know, women who make eye contact with a man and then blow him in the bathroom of the local VFW (yup women do this). So I said to this person, a wonderful woman, who is awesome. She’s like my auntie. She’s like 38 to my 25 and we just talk and she’s great. But anyway, I said to her you know its women like this who make it so easy for guys to be disrespectful to women. It’s women like this that are the reason that men can so easily not be in relationships, because they can get all the benefits of a relationship with strangers.
I mean men aren’t totally blame free, but if women stopped allowing them to do trifling stuff, who would they do it with? I mean, don’t get me wrong, public sex is HOT .. with my boyfriend!!! Or a guy I’m dating seriously. But I could NEVER make out in the bathroom of a bar with a stranger, I’d at least let him take me back to his hotel room! It’s reality though, why is a guy going to put in all this work (i.e take you to dinner, find out your interests before trying to screw you) if he can get laid without any effort?
So then I came home and was reading on NecoleBitchie this snippet from a Taraji P. Henson interview in Complex Mag. I love love Love Taraji, ever since I first saw her in Baby Boy!” If a woman’s sleeping with this dude one night, another guy the next, no one’s taking her seriously. If you don’t give it up, he doesn’t have that power. We get men’s attention when we close our legs. For me, it’s not a game. I’m seeing what I can put up with. I’m not perfect, but I need to know if I’m going to like you on the days when I don’t want to like you.”
It made me think about where I am in life and what I’m looking for (or not looking for) but what I hope to find one day and about what I’m willing to accept from a guy right now. And I’ve realized that I am not interested in a solely sexual relationship with anyone (no matter how much I need to get laid) and it sucks because that’s what so many guys are looking for. But I wont settle. Never settle.
The other day I sent WK an email that simply said ‘ Pick a number between 1 – 50′. I didn’t tell her what it was for and when she would know the result. She picked 32. (I love that I have a friend who doesn’t question when I ask her something completly random and maybe nonsensical before answering). After she answered she asked me what this was for.. It was because I came across this site doing the blog stroll one day http://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/ and I really wanted to write for one but couldn’t just pick one .. and I pick my own random number and don’t like it .. well I’ll just switch it lol ..
So #32 – If not now, then when?
OMG she could NOT have picked a better number. Why do you ask? Just days before I asked her this I was offered a new job position with a different company. This was HUGE news because I have been DYING for a new position in work – either at my same office or a different office. As much as I do enjoy working at my current (well actually former) job I did feel it was necessary to leave. To take a step into the unknown. So yes, the question to myself as I struggled with leaving this place was If not now, then when ? Great job WK. GREAT!!!
Do you know I worked at my current job starting as a Work Study student my freshmen year of college. When I graduated I accepted a full time job there even though it wasn’t in line with my major (Journalism & Media Studies with an English minor). Jobs were scares then as well (2007) and I took it. Three years later I still don’t see the potential for growth and I felt completely taken for granted and not appreciated. I also felt I couldn’t reach my full potential there. I mean, dammit I’m brilliant. Someone just needs to realize it besides me.
The biggest news here is that I have a new job, which I’m hoping will leave more time for blogging (especially once I get the iPad of my dreams). I’m extremely nervous yet exciting. In the words of Man in the Moon “I’m a clusterfuck of emotions.” But if I don’t feel this now, then when? When is change not scary? Is it possible for change to NOT be scary? What if I suck? I pray that I don’t suck. The only things I do and suck at are sports …
I began to follow @CerealDaters one day after a #FF (Follow Friday for non-twitterers) suggestion from someone [I think I'm the last person who actually clicks on those] but it was a great click. I love this blog. So real .. and being a newly single gal (is 5 months still new? ) its great stuff. This one in particular was something that summed me up. I tend to not go out with someone if I can automatically tell I’m not interested and I can tell very easily too .. But then I said, you know what, just go. Get some free dinner. Then I came across this post “Six reasons Why Dating for Dinner is OK” on Cereal Daters … FREAKING AWESOME!! I love when my thoughts are brought to fruition by someone else, lol.
Thanks guys for showing me I’m not alone, and that its not entirely selfish. My fav line from the article comes from #6:
Who the eff cares? I take myself far too seriously. I won’t be the first girl to go out for the hell of it and I won’t be the last. I’ve got all these years of pointless dating to catch up on
To read the article, and see what the other 5 reasons are, check them out: Cereal Daters
But if you don’t want to click, here are the 6 reasons ( you will have to click for the GREAT reasoning and blurbs for each one )
1. Men need chances
2. Men lie, cheat, and just do awful things to women
3. It’s not really dishonest if you’re gettign something in return
Why oh why oh why!! Reasons like this and MTV’s Jersey Shore are why I’m sometimes ashamed to be from New Jersey. Who wants to weight 1000 lbs? Why is your LIFE goal to weight half a ton?? And why oh why oh why are people giving her shine? Why is she on GMA and radio stations and being offered a reality show?? If people stopped fueling the fires these idiotic people would stop these shenanigans. How does this woman, Donna Simpson, already hold the Guinness World Record for being the World’s Fattest Mother. How is it OK that it took 30 medics to deliver her daughter via C-section?? She can’t move more than 20feet before needing a break, but she wants to be fatter?? Can I smack this ho??
And I quote: “It might be hard though. running after my daughter keeps my weight down.” <— side eye.
And of course her 150lb lover encourages her to eat more, so he can cash in on her instant “fame”. How the freak do you freak that?? I’m saying?? Grossly disgusted.12,000 calories a day??? $750 a week for groceries? I’m sorry. Me and my roommate spend less than that in a month. WTF are you eating? iCan’t. I just can’t. She says people enjoy watching her eat? Who are these people?? What kind of amusement is it to watch someone shovel food down their throat?
Now I”m all for the #HCR bill.. but people like this who want to purposely ruin their lives should be denied. Why should money be spent trying to save your life when you get diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol, and other obesity related diseases when you don’t care? The person who I feel the worst for is her daughter. Poor little girl.
Today I have TWO myspace throwbacks for you. One was a freestyle .. One was a writing prompt. I think I was a different person when I wrote these things. My thoughts don’t even flow like this these days. I think I had a different focus back then. I also was surrounded by lots of creative people.
Here we go:
I was getting ready for work today and I had something in my head.. here is how it came out…
All right, I’m ready
my juices are flowing
creatively, I can
entice you
delight you
all around please
take you on a ride
like Coolio we’ll be
on fantastic voyage
hearts seeing places
our minds never imagined
cruising through mystical mirages
making magical memories
You and I can be
oh so sweet
dreamers dream days like this
fallacies fade away while
you examine my dichotomy
I told you baby
Everything’s real here with me
I’m your ultimate indulgence
why face reality?
Let’s tango to the beat
of my drum
sip some Jamaican rum
waltz across memories
of things you used to know
life begins anew once I’m through
—
Prompt: Write about a person who does everything “by the book”
Walking paradox
that’s me
with my
crossed-eyes
dotted tees
thinking I was wise
but all along
I was ill advised
following all the rules
yes, somewhere deep inside
i knew I was sold short
caged emotions
caged dreams
internally I was dead
had not known life
without limits
limit-less opportunity
fly with me
to a new destiny
Fret not my lovers!!! I have not quit this gig yet! My postings always slack when I enter the busy season at my full-time job. Much apologies! It also doesn’t help that I’ve been feeling completely and utterly dull lately. I’m in a life rut! But things go on..
I have a confession. Please don’t judge. Lately I’ve been clocking waaayy too many hours of the Disney channel for someone with no kids. But Phineas & Ferb and Wizards of Waverly Place always draw me in! And when nothing else is on, they reallly hit the spot. And then I was in NYC yesterday and crossed Waverly Place! I almost went looking for the Subway Sub Shop. Its true I’m a real geek at heart, and even though I think Disney breeds little child star freaks, they are good for kids.The kids who work for Disney act, sing, dance, do stand up comedy and wash your car. They are little work slaves … and their bank accounts reflect that! I wish my parents sold me to Disney. *wishful thinking* I could be rolling in the Disney dough!!
I also from time to time watch Nickelodeon shows, like Danny Phantom and Fairly OddParents, but I’m starting to feel like I’ve seen every episode. Lately I’ve been feeling like life is emulating entertainment. Nothing interests me. I am seriously just bored with everything. I haven’t even wanted to blog about shoes. SHOES!!! You know how much I love shoes, so this is serious!!I have even stopped using Twitter as much as I used to, because I just don’t feel like I have anything interesting to say. Something has definitely got to give! Stay with me though, I am actively working to change that!
New Year, New ME? Isn’t that what you’ve heard all week (and the last 3 weeks of 20009?) or the fact that people were leaving the past in the last decade? If you’re like me you’ve made the same resolution ten year in a row: save money, do x, and don’t do Y. And why? So we can later count our failures as we transition to the next year, and vow to do the same things over and over again?
But that’s not to knock the significance of the idea of a New Year Resolution, because to some it really is a chance to start with a clean slate. Sometimes someething may happen on New Years Eve’s Eve and you realize that you want to leave that in the past. Don’t dwell on it in the New Year, and that is what your resolution is. And it’s freaking GREAT if you can actually do it. Personally, I take the time during the year to reflect on what needs to be changed. But it’s a matter of actually doing it. In December I bought a Planner. I said I’m going to get my life more organized in 2010, but that was because that’s when the Planner started.
As we entered the new year, I vowed to take Mr. West’s advice and “Go on a living spree.” I want a year life that is full of great experiences and memories with great people. What good will it be if I lived my life and all I could remember was that I retired early at 47 and didn’t have any fun? I have made some tangible goals for the 2010 year:
1. Get into Grad School - This means taking the Graduate Record Exam. I don’t want to do it, mainly because I don’t want to have to pay $170 to take a standardized test that’s going to tell me how I fall along the range of average intelligence. I don’t believe the hype that says standardized test are an accurate measure of intelligence. But I need to build a bridge and get the eff over my personal issues and take them. Then pay the graduate school a fee for them to review my credentials to accept me. I’d be devastated not to get in.
2. Write more – not just here. Writing in general, which is to include short stories, poems, papers, whatever the heck strikes me. Music Guides me and words inspire me.
3. Read more non-fiction – at least 1 per month that doesn’t include a book for class.
4. Prioritize – pretty much, get off the internets all damn day. Yeah, I have a problem. Needs help.
5. Be more family oriented – I’ve been trying for the past year. I’m an only child, who’s not close to her mom, so sometimes I really just don’t care about family events and all those good things. But this year I’ve spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family, went out with a cousin for her birthday, and got myself a (future) god-child. They say family is all you’ve got, so let’s see . .
All in all these aren’t “New Year Goals” they are life goals, because each one will put me on the path to living life to the fullest. Do you have any (NON) New Year’s Resolutions?
Happy Pre-Halloween!! Don’t throw eggs on anyone, or tee pee any houses! OK!
I love to spread sunshine. It may not seem important but I enjoy sharing my little jewels with others, as silly as they may be. So it really bothers me when people have outdated blogrolls. Its one thing if the blogger just hasn’t updated in months, totally another when the blog just doesn’t exist anymore. I’m just saying, its good business to keep it updated. On with the show!!
1. Women want a lot, or that’s so it seems. And I, as a woman, find that I want very little. But this guy, no idea who he is, breaks it down to how to get what you want, with humor – not in those cheesy Cosmo ways that tell you to sell your soul to the devil to get the man you want. I had never even been on Stumbleupon, but I guess its good that I did!
2. I hate hate hate HATE baseball. Playing it is so much more fun that watching.. But um, these guys in those tight pants. I’ll watch! JadeNY’er wrote this for my girl Kitty Bradshaw’s site. Check it
3. This litte girl is really moving! And she’s not dancing in a way that is overly raunchy, but just in a way that she has this routing down pack! via Alyson Mance
4. The G-Men (the powers that be behind Google-y stuff) are acing this customer service thing apparently. I love tales of good customer service, being in customer service myself. And, whenever someone tells me I rock, I tell them to let my supervisor know, HA! Plus, this story is downright ridiculously amusing. Straight Comedy!
I did a poll of friends to discuss whether Irish Spring was a male soap or a unisex soap. It started off as a friendly debate between someone, but I needed to validate one of our points. After all, someone has to be right.
Overall, most people only remembered the original scent of Irish Spring. You know, the big green or blue bar that will leave your wash rag tinted iwth that color. Those I will stand by the point made by the opposition in that those may be masculine, but others like aloe and micro clean are unisex. What man is ready for lemon scent? I think that Colgate (the distributor of Irish Spring) markets more for me because if they make the soap seem too girly, men won’t buy it. And you have to appeal to the larger market.
Men who use Dove or other “girly” soaps often deny it, or hide it. And why? Because of how people will perceive them?
Now think of this, how does this extend beyond the superficial of what we are talking about? Why do things always have to be assigned a gender? Their are “girly” cars and then “manly” cars. No one wants to be perceived more masculine or feminine than they actually are, correct? Is this more true for me? Are there more implications associated with a male for being deemed as too feminine?
Did it make me question myself when it was made a point that my soap was a masculine soap? Nope, not at all because I’ve used this soap since the dawn of time and am secure in my woman-ness. But would i want to be perceived as tom-boyish, probably not. Perception is the reality these days. Don’t be a victim of perception deception!
This is very disturbing. A Saudi man arranged for his 8-year-old daughter to marry a 47-year-old man to settle his debts. I always thought fathers were overprotective of their daughters? The girl’s mother petitioned to have the marriage annulled but the judge, Sheikh Habib Abdallah al-Habib, dismissed it due to her not being the legal guardian of the girl! Are you seriously kidding me??? Does it really matter who is the custodial parent? This is endangerment of a child. The father should be faulted for what he did. I know I’m looking at this from an American’s point of view, but this is just wrong no matter what country. This is ok’ing pedophilia.
The judge asked the man for a pledge not to consummate the marriage until the girl reaches puberty. So, basically by then he will be over fifty and she’ll still be a teenager-which still makes it super wrong. It doesn’t make it better if she’s 14 and he’s 53. And who will be ensuring that he keeps up his end of the pledge? Will there be regular medical examinations to ensure her hymen is untouched? And this doesn’t mean that he won’t force her to “lick the lollipop.” She is like his own little slave/indentured servant. The judge also said that when the girl reaches puberty she can petition for a divorce with the court. Now, by no means am I an expert in Middle Eastern relations but women aren’t exactly treated to equal rights. So the likelihood of her petition being approved will more than likely be slim. In addition to that, she might be socialized by that time to appreciate what he has to offer, a sort of Stockholm syndrome. Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response in a hostage situation in which the hostage shows signs of loyalty to the hostage-taker, regardless of the danger (or at least risk) in which they have been placed. And basically in this case, she is a form of a hostage. It is also common in other types of abuse, such as the victims of domestic abuse, battered partners and child abuse (dependent children). In many instances the victims choose to remain loyal to their abuser, and choose not to leave him or her, even when they are offered a safe placement in foster homes or safe houses. This is really really bothering me.. blasphemy…
“I think penises are little Napoleons that’ll try to take over the world.”- My friend the Asian
This was the perfect time to use that quote! Can you imagine waking up to find your penis gone!! For the ladies, you’re breasts?? Philip Seaton, 61 went in for a circumcision as part of a medical procedure in Louisville, KY and came out with his whole peen gone. That’s got to be worse than the hospital in Trenton, NJ that I went to once! Remind me never to get hurt in Louisville! Anywho, he and his wife are now suing the doctors for obvious reasons, among those, “loss of enjoyment in life.” I whole heartedly agree that enjoyment is gone, which is why I’d never want to hurt my mammories! This doctor must have idolized Lorena Bobbitt and waited for an opportunity to recreate her masterpiece. In the defense of the doctors, they say that they cut off Seaton’s “little friend” because they found cancer. Now, I have two questions… cancer cells are normally internal, correct? And a circumcision can be performed without an internal examination of the peen, right? So did he go looking for cancer or other problematic instances as an excuse to do this? Secondly, Seaton is also suing the anesthesiologist for using general anesthesia when he didn’t sign off on it. If this was a simple circumcision why did they feel the need to use general anesthesia? Something does NOT sound right there in my mind. One more question, as a doctor, doesn’t he have the right to offer this man a second opinion. Let him know what his options are. I mean, this seriously wasn’t a life or death matter. It wasn’t like they went in to replace a kidney and saw cancer on his liver and had to chop half it off for his survival. Many people, old or young, choose to deal with chemo and radiation or even not treat the cancer cells at all. This man doesn’t have that option nor the option to have sex anymore. That sucks. Too many people have a God complex…
Dope. Crazy. Perfectly Imperfect. I'm not the best writer and probably not the worst either, but I am happy while doing it. Stick with me and you'll never be bored! I mean, maybe you won't and maybe you will....
New Year, New ME? Isn’t that what you’ve heard all week (and the last 3 weeks of 20009?) or the fact that people were leaving the past in the last decade? If you’re like me you’ve made the same resolution ten year in a row: save money, do x, and don’t do Y. And why? So we can later count our failures as we transition to the next year, and vow to do the same things over and over again?
I love to spread sunshine. It may not seem important but I enjoy sharing my little jewels with others, as silly as they may be. So it really bothers me when people have outdated blogrolls. Its one thing if the blogger just hasn’t updated in months, totally another when the blog just doesn’t exist anymore. I’m just saying, its good business to keep it updated. On with the show!!
I did a poll of friends to discuss whether Irish Spring was a male soap or a unisex soap. It started off as a friendly debate between someone, but I needed to validate one of our points. After all, someone has to be right.
