October 30, 2011
Did you know that you inherently speak three different languages? Yes, its true. Or at least I do. My head speaks English. And it understands cause and affect among other rational thoughts. My heart speaks spanish. It’s confusing. If you don’t use it, you kinda forget it. It has all these verbs that need conjugating. And my vagina speaks English. But not traditional English like my head. It’s more of how Audrey II , the plant from Little Shop of Horrors speaks English. Without really knowing consequences or about feelings. Got it? Ok Good…
Why am I talking about this? Honestly? I have no idea, the thought just came to me. But I think its valid given my current situation. I feel like when I’m impatient (or really horny) I have 3 different people speaking to me. My head is of course the rational one, at times. My head reinforces the idea of not settling and being cautious. It wants to rationalize all my actions and determine how they fit in the bigger picture.
The heart speaks spanish, the language of love. Which of course is perfect. The language that if you don’t use it, you lose it. Practice makes perfect and my heart has a desire to practice. Starting from within. But lately, it’s been craving someone else to speak the language to. My heart is saying who cares about the bigger picture, indulge me. I need to practice counting to 100. Or at least 50. Mi cabeza no tiene que.
Be patient young heart. Run free (Candi Staton reference)
And my vagina. Oh my impatient vag. It’s safe to say that I’m super horny, and my horniness has no use for courting, dating, love and patience. It wants to get laid and it wants to get laid now. What does love have to do with the orgasm or the act of sex? It shouts FEED ME just like Audrey II! She screams a little louder after a few sips of wine, hoping that the head and heart have dropped their guard. No matter what anyone tells you, there isn’t enough masturbation to replace the real thing.
But really, what is sex without emotions. I’m a firm believer that women cannot really separate sex from emotions. As much as I’m hopeful about finding love, if I’m really honest with myself (and you) I’m really scared of being vulnerable. It’s hard to open up, truly open up to the idea of having someone emotionally involved again.. While the idea of being in love and giddy is appealing, I have no idea how to get there. Like does the princess really have to kiss frogs before finding her prince? WHY? Where is the Love and LIfe for Dummies book when you need it?
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May 5, 2011
I once had a friend who’s email address was love_less_j , funny because we weren’t even 21 when she had such an email address. Why would she call herself love_less before giving love a fighting chance in her life? Life had barely begun and she was naming her destiny..
The other night I was watching Khloe & Lamar on E (we all know their story-married within a month and focus of lots of media scrutinty) and it got me thinking about people who give themselves to love freely. I don’t think what they feel for each other is a TV spectacle. When Lamar cradled Khloe on the floor while she cried about her weight issues and comforted her, that was love !!
It bought my thoughts to a coworker I have. To start & because I believe in full disclosure, I think the girl is an idiot. But, in her personal life she is always “in love”. This is a girl who is getting flowers delivered to work on all the right holidays . In December she was in love with a guy in the army stationed overseas and then that ended and now she’s dating a fellow coworker. Who she “loves”. One day she left a letter she wrote to him up on a computer professing how this love is different and he makes her want to be a better her and that she has found her “true” king. After I barfed several times and poked fun at her naivete, I did some thinking.
Is there something to be said about the ability to trust in love and someone else easily? Are the rest of us too guarded? She seems entirely more happy than I feel sometimes. Are the rest of us really trying to “get to know” someone else or are we trying to shield ourselves and maintain control of the situations? Do you really need to know his mothers maiden name and his 3rd cousin Timmy before you love HIM (or her) the person? What’s wrong with following your feelings instead of your brain. Is getting hurt in love always a bad thing? Love is a special thing, but does special mean we only reserve it for 2-3 people in our romantic lives? Does special equate to exclusive? Are recipients who’ve received my love members of a secret society?
Shouldn’t it really be that what’s special about my love is that no one can love someone the way I do. The love I have for my lovers, friends, and family is unique to any love they share. And the way they love me back is different. Isn’t it better to have loved and lost?! There is something admirable in the ability to have faith in love. I hope I haven’t lost mine in being to scared to seem vulnerable. Isn’t that what we are all afraid of? Appearing weak? Appearing vulnerable to another person? Feeling like we got played?
Food for thought.
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April 27, 2011
Nostalgia can be a good thing sometimes. You know, reminiscing about the times when your family would get together and have that big yearly barbeque. Or the antics you and your friends got into high school. However, the other day I had some thoughts of nostalgia that left me sad. The thing with Mister Nostalgia is that it’s a gift and a curse.. Let me tell you my experience recently with old Mr. Nostalgia.
Last week I was having one of those self doubt filled weeks, questioning past decisions and if they were right and kinda feeling lonely. (I think all single girls have that feeling sometimes). Well, I got to thinking about my EX and just kinda missing the relationship we had. I think I miss the friendship over everything else. I was missing talking to him all the time. The someone to talk to about nothing all day with. I had those, “are you sure this isn’t the person for you thoughts and maybe after it all you guys will still be.” All these thoughts festered for awhile, maybe two days .. Then I started thinking about all the BAD things between me and said ex. Like him not going to my college graduation because he had to attend another girl that he was dating graduation. Or him having a young chick on the side for a few years and the various other things that happened in our tumultuous on and off 8 year relationship..
Do you see how nostalgia can be a bad things. Imagine if those feelings had been nurtured, I could have found myself making a phone call and getting caught back up in some bad news. Do I still miss the friendship, yes.. And slowly we work at having some semblance of friendship but its important, for my sanity and hearts sake, to be able to distinguish between what I miss. I don’t miss wondering why I wasn’t enough.. Or what he was doing if he didn’t answer the phone. I getting together or Sunday nights to watch True Blood and someone who liked to try new recipes with me sometimes and sharing new music and interesting news articles with .. And we do that sometimes, over twitter and facebook lol!!
Be careful with Mr. Nostalgia is all I’m saying.
Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry. Excuse my typos and other errors “/
Posted in Cleo's Rants, eternal reflections | Tags: dating, nostalgia, rants, relationships | No Comments »
December 10, 2010
So .. today over a nice delicious Portuguese BBQ meal me and a coworker had a discussion about women who are scandalous. Some of us often refer to them as “ain’t shit” or “rachet” or just plain “hoes”. You know, women who make eye contact with a man and then blow him in the bathroom of the local VFW (yup women do this). So I said to this person, a wonderful woman, who is awesome. She’s like my auntie. She’s like 38 to my 25 and we just talk and she’s great. But anyway, I said to her you know its women like this who make it so easy for guys to be disrespectful to women. It’s women like this that are the reason that men can so easily not be in relationships, because they can get all the benefits of a relationship with strangers.
I mean men aren’t totally blame free, but if women stopped allowing them to do trifling stuff, who would they do it with? I mean, don’t get me wrong, public sex is HOT .. with my boyfriend!!! Or a guy I’m dating seriously. But I could NEVER make out in the bathroom of a bar with a stranger, I’d at least let him take me back to his hotel room! It’s reality though, why is a guy going to put in all this work (i.e take you to dinner, find out your interests before trying to screw you) if he can get laid without any effort?
So then I came home and was reading on NecoleBitchie this snippet from a Taraji P. Henson interview in Complex Mag. I love love Love Taraji, ever since I first saw her in Baby Boy!” If a woman’s sleeping with this dude one night, another guy the next, no one’s taking her seriously. If you don’t give it up, he doesn’t have that power. We get men’s attention when we close our legs. For me, it’s not a game. I’m seeing what I can put up with. I’m not perfect, but I need to know if I’m going to like you on the days when I don’t want to like you.”
It made me think about where I am in life and what I’m looking for (or not looking for) but what I hope to find one day and about what I’m willing to accept from a guy right now. And I’ve realized that I am not interested in a solely sexual relationship with anyone (no matter how much I need to get laid) and it sucks because that’s what so many guys are looking for. But I wont settle. Never settle.
Posted in Cleo's Rants | Tags: celebrity, fashion, rant, relationships | 1 Comment »
December 8, 2010
This has been a topic of discussion for awhile that has been brought back to life by a blog I read.
Is it OK to call a man Daddy?
The author of the blog (a man who has said some pretty shitty stuff about women on his blog and twitter, but that’s another day) writes, “Being called Daddy by a woman is the ultimate form of flattery and respect in a relationship. Just as the term you ain’t my daddy one of the worst things a man can hear in his relationship.” First off, can I say that every time I read a line like ” Hey daddy, can I get you something” I do it with a high pitched hoodrat voice. don’t ask. Don’t tell. Anywho..
Now, I cannot say I agree with this quote because for me, that’s NOT the ultimate form of flattery. I’ve never given much thought to forms of flattery but when I have daddy hasn’t come up. I have listened to songs by Teedra Moses (whom I love) where she says “oohh KatDaddy” and I think aaww I wanna say that .. but it just never has happened for me. Does it creep me out, no .. but I can’t say I’m looking for an opportunity to call a man daddy. It’s not because “I have a DAD and you ain’t him”. And I’d never say in an argument, “You ain’t my daddy” because ain’t isn’t a word and the bigger reason is that’s a relationship where one person is trying to control the other person and I probably would avoid that relationship. But does daddy make a man go crazy during sex? Is this something I’d have to try? IDK .. daddy just doesn’t roll off my tongue…
And I might be weirded out by a guy who insists on being called Daddy .. creepy.
What is your take on this issue?
Posted in Cleo's Rants | Tags: entertainment, rants, relationships, sex | 2 Comments »
November 3, 2010
When does someone deserve a second chance? These last few days I began to think of an answer to this questions. I would think that someone would have excelled so well the first time that one would be willing to overlook a minor misstep and allow them a second chance to finish what they started? Right?
Or did you give them a second chance just because, well this was their first time messing up? But then there would be no “finals” in a sense. You know, if everyone got a second chance.
Sometimes you just have to accept that second chances should be the exception and not the rule and not everyone is entitled to one. Yes, it sounds good in theory that everyone deserves a second chance, but I meanreally? Do they? I don’t mean the proverbial, he paid his debt to society and should be released from prison and given a second chance at life type situation but a real life common situation, like a matter of the heart.. is every suitor worthy of a second chance?
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October 6, 2010
Yesterday on twitter I realized what day it was .. see the tweets ..
@Cleosunshine: Damn today is 10-05 … Wow .. Woulda been me an the ex’s __ anniversary … Oh well.. Onward is the only forward ..
@Cleosunshine: Its crazy what you think when your stupid in love.. I thought I’d never get over that relationship .. But I was wrroonnggg lmao
@Cleosunshine: Not only am I over it, I don’t look back!
—
It’s amazing how much a difference time actually makes. A year ago yesterday I was in a relationship with a guy I dealt with off and on since high school and I thought no matter what our ups and downs were that we would make it. I thought if this love didn’t work out I’d be alone forever. Isn’t it crazy? We get so caught up in the person and/or our situation that we forget our own greatness.
Since then I’ve developed a personal style that reflects me, lost about twenty pounds, and gained self-confidence. Am I perfect? Abso-freaking-lutely NOT! But I love who I am .. and I embrace the past that got me here. So, I guess this is really a thank you because without you, I wouldn’t have realized I deserve more
I like to think the core of who I am was still there a year ago, and maybe it was .. but now I think I’m more free and willing to express that. I’m happy, silly, and sometimes a little dark and twisty and I refuse to let someone else steal that thunder. I have a certain patience mixed with a little neurosis that I happen to love. And I embrace the people in my life, even the ones who’ve roles have faded as time has went on.
And HELLO?? have you seen the post from Date Night??? * swoons* Who has time to reminisce over the past when the present and possible future is right there in front of you??
Posted in Cleo's Rants | Tags: curiousity, learning, relationships | 2 Comments »
October 3, 2010
Guy knocks on door for Date Night
Guy pulls roses from behind his back…
Girl is shocked and super giddy because no one has bought her flowers just because…
Guy opens car doors for girl…
Girl and guy enjoy a night of spoken word and slam poetry topped off by delicious food.
Am I gay or am I gay?
Posted in Cleo's Rants | Tags: hot, random, relationships | 3 Comments »
September 22, 2010
This is something I typed on my BlackBerry and emailed to myself. I do write, it just sometimes gets lost in the sauce of things in my email. I’m trying to set it up where I can just email in a post, because the WordPress for Blackberry app wasn’t doing it for me … anywho ..
There are people in the world who like to try to tap holes into your wall of security so that they may prey on those newly formed insecurity pockets… I kid you not. Now, this can be in work, relationships or even friendships. For example… I’m pretty happy in general with my life, its not perfect nor is it problem free, but I happen to love it, flaws and all.
Enter old-flame. (If you want to even call it that)
And you share with this old flame that you’ve moved on. Are happy with your current situation. They begin to say, ‘how do you know you can trust him?’ ‘How long have we known each other?’ All these things to try and make you second guess your decisions. Or you have the co-worker from a different department who likes to talk smack about your department and your boss. To make you question who you should be reporting to (or making allegiences with).
People enjoy creating messes in others lives no matter how unintentionally. And sometimes we fall victim to it. I refuse. Call me naïve, call me dense, call me stupid. I’m perfectly happy living my life without the B.S.
Does this mean I’m ignorant to what’s out there? No.. I know that bad things and people lurk behind every corner, some devils come in sheep skin. Its just easier to awknowledge it and move on vs dwelling on it.
Someone had on their facebook status about how to tell if someone is really a friend. It said to share good news with them and watch their immediate reaction. True story, a real friend is gonna be happy for you no matter what their situation. Trust me. And the vultures will seek their opportunity to make you feel bad or guilty. Family included.
Posted in Cleo's Rants | Tags: blasphemy, rambling, random, rants, relationships | 1 Comment »
July 21, 2010
One day I awake to a text instructing me to look up Pegging. Now, being the curious journalist that I am, of course this is the first thing I did when I finally climbed out of bed. Google had many different links and after finding a forum and reading the handy urban dictionary I texted back:
” so.. Um.. Let me get this right, pegging is a woman doing a man with a strap on. ”
O_o.
I was completely not expecting that. And I wanted to tread lightly because this text came from someone I like. I didn’t want to offend him if this was something he was into (which he is NOT! *whew*). I guess we learn something new everyday, and the world of sex is constantly changing as people become more sex obsessed at younger ages. Maybe I’m boring because I’m not into group sex and other variations of sex that exist these days… When I hear of things like this so many questions come to my mind
For instance:
1. How do you introduce this into a completely hetero sexual relationship?
2. How does a man determine he potentially might like this? Or does a woman happen to think, ‘hhmm.. I wanna ass rape my husband. I wonder how he might like it..’
3. Does this mean that the guy might potentially have homosexual tendencies? And how does this go with what people say about men actually liking a little anal stimulation?
seee.. I could just go on and on and I’m not joking…I’m really trying to get a feel for how this comes to fruition.
On the forum I discovered there was a girl interested in trying it on her present lover. I immediately got a flashback to the episode of Sex in the City where Charlotte proclaims ” I don’t want to be Mrs. UptheButt.. No one marries the up the butt girl” ..
Now forever this man is going to be Mr. UptheButt ..
Hhmmm..
I didn’t post a pic because they were too explicit and I, of course, am very PG. I am here to inform, not corrupt the babies. Gotta love the babies!
Posted in Cleo Talks Sex, Cleo's Rants | Tags: entertainment, learning, random, relationships, sex | 2 Comments »
May 19, 2010
I began to follow @CerealDaters one day after a #FF (Follow Friday for non-twitterers) suggestion from someone [I think I'm the last person who actually clicks on those] but it was a great click. I love this blog. So real .. and being a newly single gal (is 5 months still new? ) its great stuff. This one in particular was something that summed me up. I tend to not go out with someone if I can automatically tell I’m not interested and I can tell very easily too .. But then I said, you know what, just go. Get some free dinner. Then I came across this post “Six reasons Why Dating for Dinner is OK” on Cereal Daters … FREAKING AWESOME!! I love when my thoughts are brought to fruition by someone else, lol.
Thanks guys for showing me I’m not alone, and that its not entirely selfish. My fav line from the article comes from #6:
Who the eff cares? I take myself far too seriously. I won’t be the first girl to go out for the hell of it and I won’t be the last. I’ve got all these years of pointless dating to catch up on
To read the article, and see what the other 5 reasons are, check them out: Cereal Daters
But if you don’t want to click, here are the 6 reasons ( you will have to click for the GREAT reasoning and blurbs for each one )
1. Men need chances
2. Men lie, cheat, and just do awful things to women
3. It’s not really dishonest if you’re gettign something in return
4. They did it in the 30s!
5. I’m Bored
and #6 again:
Who the EFF cares???
#kanyeshrug
Posted in Cleo's Rants | Tags: entertainment, random, rant, rants, relationships | 1 Comment »
May 17, 2010
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk everything, you risk even more. – Erica Jong
The optomist in me loves this quote and whole-heartedly believes this. I wish I had some cute anecdotal story to illustrate my belief in this quote. But one day I might. Stay tuned 
Posted in Cleo's Rants | Tags: quotable, random, relationships | No Comments »
April 8, 2010
I really wanted to share this BBM conversation. BBM is short for BlackBerry Messenger (in case you’re NOT in the know) This application is the sole reason young people are flocking to the Blackberry lately, IMO. Anywho, this conversation was had between a former college classmate and myself. We’re both mid-twenty somethings and pretty amusing if I do say so myself. I think the convo started from a comment on someone’s BBM status message, and then it developed a mind of its own. **names have been edited for security reasons**
A: Me & boo boskie split b4 new years
A: : *dueces* were chucked
B: Dam. Son that’s life. Ppl not makin the cut for 2010. Apps r in heavy rotation. Don’t call me. Ill call uuuuu! Lol
A: Lol yup yup
A: Suckas need not apply
B: Yea min experience is 3 yrs of commitment. And start investing in that 401k(arat) plan is a requiremnt after 1 full year of the signed contract. Company is progressively growing at an alarming rate and we need not waste time investing in non potential co-executive CEO’s. Thank u!
A: Llmmmaaaoooo
A: Hilarious
B: But tru.
A: Very true
A: These dudes out here aint ready for a good woman though
A: They busy bs’ing
B: I knooooo. And the f’d up part about it is that we have a biological clock to attend too. Like wtf! If were not atleast close to engagment by 30 them its a wrap. Our time diminshes greatly.
A: I kknnooww :’(
A: As I approach my quarter century bday in 3 mths its all i can think of
A: Fuk this clock
A: I’m late for everything anyway lol
B: Lmfao!!!!! Yooooo ur wild!!!! That was a good one
My FAVE parts of this convo were the application requirments and the idea that we have a clock to attend to. Whenever I read back on this convo, I crack up. I won’t say which one is me though. I can’t incriminate myself. I just can’t!
I think Dubb touched on this today that many women are surrendering their feminine qualities in lieu of masculinity and success in the workforce and their issues with submitting. (Check it HERE) Many women are ignoring their ‘biological’ clock to pay attention to the ladder they need to climb. I believe that while it shouldn’t be your sole focus in life, it shouldn’t be completely discarded. Balance. I want to have a succesful career, but at the same time I want to be a stay at home mom for maybe the first 5 years. Or work but part-time or on a per diem basis. What’s so wrong with that? I’m not living in fear that my job (or any job) won’t be there. I plan (HOPE) to have my work speak for itself. I guess this would be different if I was, for arguments sake, someone in an entry-level position for my job. But that’s the thing, I don’t want just a JOB. I’d much prefer a career. Just like I’d much rather prefer a family to none. A real family though. Dinner is served at 7pm and I made it all from scratch boo, so let’s eat together and discuss our day. Is that too much? Does this exist? Do guys even want this anymore? I told my grandfather I wanted to meet a guy, fall in love, and get married and have babies. I said I want to meet a man who’s as into me as I am to him. He pretty much said “Get real, it doesn’t happen that way” #crusheddreams.
Posted in Cleo's Rants | Tags: entertainment, rambling, random, rants, relationships | 6 Comments »
March 2, 2010
Today’s long-awaited (haha) Spreading Sunshine is dedicated to dating! Why all the dating posts? Because some of the stuff that I’ve encountered as a newly single twenty-something has me confused. And apparently I’m not alone. Me and my homegirl TB were just gchatting away about guys (and maybe this is just NJ guys) and their lack of dating etiquette. TB made a good point that its time to get back to basics. People somehow think that dating is either an exclusive relationship or a Friends with benefit relationship. NO!! Dating is dating. Going out and having a good time, not chilling in the house! And it doesn’t necessarily include hooking up! A girl doesn’t want to have to explain this. All we girls want is to go out, laugh, and have a good time. We can do fun (FREE) stuff. NOt every date has to be an all-star event. But that’s not to say we don’t want to get dressed up and cute. I have been DYING to wear this cute outfit I have in my closet. It’s a PERFECT date outfit. But unfortunately, no luck yet. Is it asking too much to have a guy give me a reason to get all dressed up? It would be nice for him to call me, YES CALL, me and say “get dressed I’m picking you up” and then we have a night on the town. I miss those days. And I shouldn’t miss them, I’m barely 25 for Christs Sake!!
Here are the links for this topic:
Don’t Text Me No Mo’!! UGH. It’s called communication people. We’re not tweens who are in class all day. Call Me. Plain and Simple. You can get to know me a lot quicker and better by dialing me up.
Why are you still single? The Married guy is breaking down what should be done with your time in singledom. I agree with some and not others. I do think you need to learn how to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. Saying that volunteering is going to lead to a successful relationship… not totally seeing that correlation.
18 Things not to do .. This is for when you finally have a guy who does ALL the dating steps right and you decide to invite him over for some ‘Wham Bam’ he needs to heed these tidbits of advice. Dear Sirs, if you’re reading. Please pay close attention to #s: 4, 7, 8, 10 and 17. ESPECCIIAALLLY 17.
#IMJUSTSAYING
Article that’s good for reading about Enjoying Dating (thanks to TB!!!) From Essence, titled: Stop Stressing Marriage and Enjoy Dating (or something like that)
Posted in Cleo's Rants | Tags: comedy, dating, fashion, random, relationships | 3 Comments »
February 23, 2010
Sexual Anorexia? Sexerexia? This is a new medical condition apparently that can be defined “an obsessive state in which the physical, mental, and emotional task of avoiding sex dominates one’s life. Hmmm… Really? Thats odd, because the people who aren’t having sex usually want to have sex and the people having sex (or at least the ones I know) want MORE sex! But you have some people who are withholding it willingly? Hmmm..
I always thought using sex to control a relationship never worked? In the article it says that “Like self-starvation with food or compulsive dieting or hoarding with money, deprivation with sex can make one feel powerful and defended against all hurts.” Hmmm… In my mind, lack of sex makes one cranky and a downright bitch (this term does apply for men as well). Could that be all those control issues coming out? Having sex is like a way to cope with stress and problems. It’s like while your in the middle of some good sex nothing else exists, but you and the person and the moment. So, can you imagine using NO sex as a way to cope with stress and life difficulties? Um, NO. Sex is therapy. Yes, Robin Thicke had it right. Give me sex therapy!
How does one go about treating sexual anorexia? Do you suddently decide you’ve had enough of the drought and just go and bang the next person you see? How do you formulate healthy relationships without sex? I’m sorry, but you can’t have a serious adult relationship without sex at some point. You just can’t. That’s my belief and I’m sticking to it.
Source
Posted in Cleo Talks Sex | Tags: curiousity, entertainment, learning, medical, relationships | 1 Comment »
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