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25Jun 2019 by Jakora Holman No Comments
My Motherboard, My Self

My Motherboard, My Self

Mis-Adventures
I came to a realization today, that was the summation of thoughts I've been battling over the past few weeks. My realization is that somewhere the thoughts I had about other people doubting me turned into me doubting myself professionally. How did this happen? Professionally, I feel adrift. I always feel like I have so much to do, yet, I never want to do any of it, therefore I'm filling my time with everything else. I've placed immense value on my work and on my work ethic more specifically. I've been the there is no job too small that I will not help with girl forever. I am a team player who won't ask my team to do something I wouldn't do myself. My boss told me a lot to…
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11Mar 2019 by Jakora Holman No Comments

Oh, Hell Yes

Mis-Adventures
First and foremost, wordpress has changed so much since I've stopped writing here. I wanted to do something different for lent and decided to make journal-ing a practice for those 40 days as opposed to removing something from my life. Well, I'm a little behind because it's not something I think to do first anymore, but here I am. I wanted to do the journaling here on cleosunshine.com because this is near and dear to my heart and something I MISS! I can't say if I want to be CleoSunshine anymore, but it is what I have and I don't love the idea of starting over. So here's where we are since I last wrote here: Moved into a new town, into our own home. Began a leadership position at…
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05Sep 2017 by Jakora Holman No Comments
Politically Erect 

Politically Erect 

Lifestyle, Mis-Adventures
** OLD POST SAVED IN 2016*** I went to start a new post on all things new and where I see this going and saw this post sitting. Instead of deleting, it seemed more fitting to let these thoughts out into the universe where they were supposed to go + I feel it might be perfect segue for where I envision this site going as I am no longer the girl from 2008 who started this site. Or the eager blogger who revamped in 2010 and again in 2012. 10 years with this blog! Holy COW batman!   ------ I used to pride myself on a job well done. I used to pride myself on using my "smarts" to navigate situations. I prided myself on being a jack of all…
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14Feb 2015 by Jakora Holman No Comments

Three’s a Crowd

Foodie
***started on 1/23*** I'm in a threesome and I want out. It involved me, my Keurig and a French Press. Season 1. In this episode Carrie finds out that Big was married once, and that he had a threesome. Charlotte's boyfriend wants to have a threesome. Miranda feels left out because she's never been "threesome material", so she responds to a classified ad to validate her sexual appeal. Samantha becomes involved with a married man, and his wife offers to have a threesome to keep the marriage together, which Samantha declines. I love, LOVE, and love my Keurig, It really helped grow my passion and love for coffee. It helped me experience what coffee flavors  and roasts were truly about.  But as with any relationship, and to the chagrin of…
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22Jan 2015 by Jakora Holman No Comments
Luck be an old lady

Luck be an old lady

Mis-Adventures
In the past few months (year?) I said I would name each of my blog post after a Sex and the City Episode. I decided now to not only do that, but give a brief description of the episode that led to its suggestion. In "Luck be an old lady" Carrie desperately tries to get everyone together for Charlotte's "thirty-faux" birthday. Charlotte doesn't want to turn 36 because she feels she's getting old. Miranda goes to Atlantic City with the girls, feeling self-conscious about her weight. Samantha is paranoid that Richard is cheating with the entire female hotel staff. In less than 6 months I will be 30 and I feel just like  Charlotte - I was so close to my goal and now I am starting over and I…
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22Jan 2015 by Jakora Holman No Comments
American Girl in Paris, Part Duex

American Girl in Paris, Part Duex

Fitness
Except Paris is the gym and its more like the bottom of the 9th inning in a double header than just part duex. This week was week 1 back in the gym. To be honest, the fact that I am now  heavier than my starting weight last year has taken the biggest toll on me. It hit me that I am  heavier than I've been at my heaviest. Crazy how that can happen within one year of me being my skinniest I've ever been. And I realize how much I don't want to talk about it. The fact that I created a separate Instagram account to rack my progress says a lot about my insecurity on the issue. So do I give myself the same speech, "buck up kiddo, if…
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02Jan 2015 by Jakora Holman No Comments
Critical Condition

Critical Condition

Lifestyle
It's been suggested that I try doing videos with my blog posts (vlog properly I guess). Finally,I have given in... I created my first VIDEO BLOG! I am a YouTuber! WOW. The start of a new year brings with me, for the first time, lots of remorse and trepidation. I have been drowning in self-loathing over the success then failure of my weight loss. I lost weight, 25 pounds or so, and then I gained it back. I felt defeated, lost in the scent of despair. Lost in the fact that I got so close to the door and had to turn back. It crippled me. But now, I feel rejuvenated. I feel like I can't go on like this any longer. Maybe its because I'm vain. Shoot me, I…
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18Dec 2014 by Jakora Holman No Comments
The Dominio Effect

The Dominio Effect

Lifestyle
I don't know where it all went wrong. I don't know where I got set back. Somewhere in between start and finish, or maybe start and evaluate, set new goal, repeat. I got stuck. Everything feels temporary. Everything I enjoy feels like a hassle. Like more work than the work that pays my bills. I feel consumed with insecurity. You didn't do this.... You could have done better. I should have tried it this way. I should have said that. I feel rushed. All the time. Nothing is done in the time frame I set. And set backs occur more on personal goals than anything else. What is a work/life balance. Take it back. Spring 2014. My #2014orBust theme was in full swing. I was down 20lbs, I just ran…
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18Dec 2014 by Jakora Holman No Comments
The Chicken Dance

The Chicken Dance

Lifestyle
** Draft Started on 9/4/2014 *** When presented with an opportunity to grow, often masked as a difficulty or challenge we have to overcome, often the first instinct is to rely on old emotions or actions, right?  Because change is uncomfortable and uneasy and just ... strange. I, personally, hate moments of awkwardness, but realize I have spent more moments in transitional periods of awkwardness (aka growth) than I have being still. At least in my own mind... In my head I'm constantly thinking of the next move, how to learn, how to grow. Even if I don't act swiftly, I'm consistently thinking about action; not in the "good morning and grind" Instagram meme kind of way either. Which makes me wonder, can I ever be content? Will I ever…
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13May 2014 by Jakora Holman 1 Comment
Where There’s Smoke

Where There’s Smoke

Lifestyle
This post was started in February 2014 after a work presentation .. *********************** The old adage what do you want to be when you grow up is so outdated any truly reflective of the society we live in. In out parents (or grandparents) era you worked to get a job and for the most part you stayed at that job until,retirement. Easy. Breezy. Beautiful. And in some instances that still happens: cops, teachers, postal worker... But the reality is most if my generation is looking to be the next big thing in their respective industry. And with the globalization of the US, more schooling options, and increased access, you have the power to change your mind, develop new ideas and create your own careers. How does this philosophy get engrained…
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12May 2014 by Jakora Holman No Comments
Defining Moments …

Defining Moments …

Lifestyle
This post was started back in April 2012. I've decided I'm getting rid of all my lingering drafts! SO therefore, I can't finish it because I have no idea what my thought process was back then .. but bear with me. Enjoy!! ******************************** I forget that I'm smart. I forget that I enjoy engaging in intellectual dialogue and the exchange of free thought because it is not a part of my daily life. You would think that it would be, being that I am *hopefully* in the last year of my Masters degree and that I work at a college. But the fact is, not everyone enjoys a good back and forth exchange as much as the next. Also, when in class, those old feeling of "self doubt" and "don't…
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21Apr 2014 by Jakora Holman No Comments
The Turtle and The Hare

The Turtle and The Hare

Mis-Adventures
** this post was started on 4/21/2014 ** The quest to be fit and healthy for me often makes me feel like I am a hamster running on a wheel. I often don't know where to start, how it started and what steps to take and what defines DONE. But in the quest for health and fitness there is no finite done. You keep going on maintaining health until death, or at least that's the general idea, right? With so much information on health and fitness from thousands of sources, its kind of hard to pin point what your believe system should be on this. So this year, I took up running. I saw this quote and it was so accurate. I never imagined myself as a runner, a jogger,…
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28Mar 2014 by Jakora Holman No Comments
The Real Me

The Real Me

Fashionable, Lifestyle
To not let these pics go to waste, I decided to post my before and after pics. This is me pre-makeup and this is after. This make-up was done on the Northeast Regional Amtrak train. I tell people all the time my daily makeup routine is 5 minutes, and literally can be done in a car (since that's what I do every day en route to work). My go to items: Clinque Perfectly Real Powder Foundation in Shade 138 Clinique Quick Blush in Berry on time b or In a Rush Blush shade (recently discontinued) Black eyeliner (I prefer Clinique Black Diamond pencil for daily wear, but use a myriad of others as well) Black Mascara (I use any drugstore brand, my go to is Maybelline Great Lash) I sometimes…
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