The other day or last week me and a friend were having a conversation over Gchat .. and I decided to blog it .. rather than explain it and all that, just check it out::
A: so right, my new co-worker told me that I seem unapproachable. Like when Im walking around and stuff, and I look mean until I start talking to someone and then I look happy and good .. but that she was kind of nervous to talk to me .. .and then she sat with me last week for training and she’s like you know then I really realized ur really nice and funny and stuff
I dont seem unapproachable do i?
is it cuz I’m light skin?
B: lmao. I think its cus your black
A: lol but she’s black too
B: Real talk though, I think part of it has to do with the fact that you/we have this “woman on a mission” look/walk/way about us, that may make us seem unapproachable
that doesnt matter
I’ve had a black person tell me the same thing
A: thats true .. i do have a “woman about my business walk” lol
B: told ya! and your a cutie, so maybe she thought you thought you were “too good” or something
you literally have to go out of your way to say hi to everyone and damn near smile as you walk. lol
A: its true! you have to like be this walking smiling mannequin .. but like who the hell just walks and smiles?
B: heres the kicker though. (I’ve being giving this some thought)What do ppl really think would happen to them if they approached you, especially in the work place??
do they really expect you to give the stereotypical eye roll, head dance attitude?
A: this is true .. like do they expect a sigh and a head nod and for you to keep it moving? I think its a cop out for people being nervous sometimes .. like don’t blame it on me .. just say, “I was new and nervous about my first impressions. ..”or whatever
B: right!!!I can KINDA see guys feeling like they might get shut down
(had a dude that I thought was hella fine at my job tell me that)
but I dont think we run into that problem with older guys (as Ive been approached, even if its just to say hi, by older guys at my job)
women, are a different story though.
A: yeah I agree … men, especially older are diff .. one guy just walks past my office and says hello .. i can’t even remember his name .. just whenver he’s in my building .. women are diff .. which is why I was happy that I started work the same time as another girl so it kinda broke the ice
and almost everyone in my office is under 30 ..
** I might have to blog this ** lol
B: go for it!!!!
its definitely a issue that I think a lot of females face. On the opposite end, do you approach 20 something new black females, at random or not?
A: I always introduce myself to people when t hey start .. and try to make converation, ask where’d they work before .. get a feeel for them
What do you guys think? Has this been something you’ve faced / encountered? Is this real? Why do people judge you off how you walk around?
One thought on “Girl, you just look so mean!”
I thought of this post today during my review where my boss commented that “some people” feel like they have to walk on eggshells around me. When I pushed for further details it sounded like”people” come to me to ask me things and I know what I am talking about so because I am coming from that place — it comes across as slightly condescending.
I know it’s not true so to me it’s more confirmation that in my workplace being brown and assertive (not even aggressive) gets translated to some form of mean/unapproachable.
I have also had people tell me that their initial impression of me is that I am serious… it’s when they get to know me that they realize I’m fun, cool, or whatever is the opposite of the initial “serious” impression.