Call me Scrooge..

Whenever I have a strong reaction to something, I try to figure out why.. I usually find that whenever I’m upset with something it stems from some major issue I probably haven’t gotten over in life. . So why would I care to write about this. Yesterday was my buildings Secret Santa exchange .. rather than type up a full summar I’m going to take pieces from GChat to show my true reaction of what happened::

OMG i am bout to sound so ungrateful
but we did our office secret santa today and like everyone had to write down 3 things they wanted i wrote down nail polish, sephora gift card, and ipad charger …   do u know what i got?
a snowflake votive candle
it was a 15 dollar limit thing
like from the dollar store
i got my person a amazon gift card from amazon
Person :: A votive candle :-/
me: one
a t that
not even a whole fucking set
 Person:  Well maybe your person had fallen on hard times.
me: um
and it was optional
you didn’t have to be in it
so if you on hard times maybe you should have declined participation
Person:  Well…I tried. She forgot lol
 me: im annoyed man
we work across the street from walgreens
u coulda ran over and got any kinda gc
this is why i don’t get in the Xmas spirit
when i try to
someone comes along and just fucks shit up
Person:  Don’t be like thaaaaat
Its just office ppl, not real ppl
 me: woo sah
i k now
but i mean
we are reall people
like wtf is the point of a list if ur not going to follow it
they make us do lists to avoid shit like this
Person:  Calm down J.

OK  .. so later on .. I was still fuming about it .. and then I thought why did this bother me so much .. and this is probably going to make me sound like such a loser or w hatever .. but I was kinda excited for my small little thing because I’m not going to have any other Christmas gifts .. or because there isn’t another realll expression of Christmas going on for me .. I think I teared up a little bit typing that .. Like, I don’t expect anything from my grandmother because she’s not financially able and my grandfather isn’t a Christmas person .. in the past I always had the BF who exhanged gifts with me.. and I mean, I’m not saying Xmas is all about the gifts ..because its not .. but idk.. Chirstmas Day for me is going to kinda just be another day. Wake up. Pack. Have dinner with some family. I guess I got myself a little excited about seeing someone excited from something I got them that I’d want someone to bring me that kind of small excitement.

But I won’t let it steal my spirit. I’m excited to see my coworkers reaction to my small tokens of appreciation for them tomorrow. And just be over it .. but now I know why I reacted so strongly .. * sigh * I had my bratty moment . It also probably didn’t help that the person isn’t someone who’s my favorite person in the building. But next time, please stick my list bitch.




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