I don’t know where it all went wrong. I don’t know where I got set back. Somewhere in between start and finish, or maybe start and evaluate, set new goal, repeat. I got stuck.
Everything feels temporary. Everything I enjoy feels like a hassle. Like more work than the work that pays my bills. I feel consumed with insecurity. You didn’t do this…. You could have done better. I should have tried it this way. I should have said that. I feel rushed. All the time. Nothing is done in the time frame I set. And set backs occur more on personal goals than anything else.
What is a work/life balance.
Take it back. Spring 2014. My #2014orBust theme was in full swing. I was down 20lbs, I just ran a half marathon. And then came summer. And residence halls and crisis response. and a boo. And the eating out, the no time, the excuses. Weight gain. Then came fall. A new job. More hours. I’m back to square one. I don’t know how to pick up the pieces and start over. What does that even look like? How do I gain control again?
#barehonesty #brutalhonesty @notetoself