life lessons | Cleo Sunshine

25Jun 2019 by Jakora Holman No Comments

My Motherboard, My Self

I came to a realization today, that was the summation of thoughts I've been battling over the past few weeks. My realization is that somewhere the thoughts I had about other people doubting me turned into me doubting myself professionally. How did this happen? Professionally, I feel adrift. I always feel like I have so much to do, yet, I never want to do any of it, therefore I'm filling my time with everything else. I've placed immense value on my work and on my work ethic more specifically. I've been the there is no job too small that I will not help with girl forever. I am a team player who won't ask my team to do something I wouldn't do myself. My boss told me a lot to…

05Jan 2014 by Jakora Holman No Comments

#2014orbust

Mis-Adventures

On my makeshift desk I found a list titled "What Have I Learned This Year;" judging from the other notes on this torn notebook page it was written sometime in March or April because it references my Capstone opportunity. The list reads this verbatim 1. Your personality is yours. It is good, positive. Don't attempt to change it. 2. Confidence ---> you lack it must regain it. 3. Health is important but I don't work hard enough to maintain it. 4. You are smart in a way that you don't have to compare to others. 5. Stop comparing yourself. You won't eat, think, talk, sleep or do anything like others. Think for yourself. Be yourself. Challenge yourself. What are your hobbies? How well do you know yourself. This note was…

25May 2011 by Jakora Holman 4 Comments

Bittersweet Birthdays

Lifestyle

So, this weekend I had a birthday. And Birthdays are bittersweet, I was soooo excited at one point and the next I was crying because I wasn't where I wanted to be and this was my second single birthday. But after some self - pep talking and some convos with awesome people, I decided to focus on the positives.. Let's see. What am I grateful for. What did 25 bring me?? AWESOMENESS !!! 1. New Job in NYC. 2. Acceptance into Grad School, in NYC 3. Trip to LA where I've always wanted to go 4. Trip to ATL where I've wanted to visit 5. Some awesome new people I didn't know last year. 6. Job moving me to the campus closer to my house !!! (Technically this won't happen…

05May 2011 by Jakora Holman No Comments

All i Need in this life of sIn

Lifestyle

I once had a friend who's email address was love_less_j , funny because we weren't even 21 when she had such an email address. Why would she call herself love_less before giving love a fighting chance in her life? Life had barely begun and she was naming her destiny.. The other night I was watching Khloe & Lamar on E (we all know their story-married within a month and focus of lots of media scrutinty) and it got me thinking about people who give themselves to love freely. I don't think what they feel for each other is a TV spectacle. When Lamar cradled Khloe on the floor while she cried about her weight issues and comforted her, that was love !! It bought my thoughts to a coworker I…

14Apr 2011 by Jakora Holman 1 Comment

What do stats really mean?

Lifestyle

Yesterday in an attempt to "eat healthier" a friend and I decided to go to Cosi for some salads or other "healthier" fare instead of our original pizza plan. I opted for a half soup/half salad combo. Tomato Basil soup and the Signature Salad with grapes, apples, mixed greens and gorgonzola cheese thinking I made the healthier choice by eating so light. I even got baby carrots as my side instead of chips. So I went home to calculate how many PointsPlus this was. Healthy my ASS! Why was a side of soup 6 WW Points?!? And the salad 5 points?!? Pizza is only 4 points per slice (thin crust). How can some seemingly innocent food do such destruction?! I was really bothered, I felt like "damn, I shouldn't have…

12Apr 2011 by Jakora Holman No Comments

21 days to make a habit ..

Lifestyle

My friend mentioned this to me some time ago, and we discussed the validity of it.. And will admit, I was skeptical, but willing. Partly, because in my perpetual diet since I was 17, they say if you give up something for 2 weeks, the cravings will go away. The will just ebb away.. So I guessed this followed the same principal. I just didn't know of anything I wanted to make a habit that I could work into life at this time. Since I gave up Facebook and Twitter for lent I realized its true. In the first few days (weeks) I was jonesing to tweet and update a status.. Or I was receiving texts about someone's FB posts/pictures. But last week, about 20 something days into lent I…

21Mar 2011 by Jakora Holman 1 Comment

i finally watched Precious

Lifestyle

The other night I watched Precious: Based on the novel by Sapphire for the first time and man, this movie really was as sad as people sad. I didn't watch earlier because people kept saying how sad the movie was. Plus, I read the book many years ago and I've been fooled by other book 'adaptations' in the past. So I wasn't eager. But the other night this movie was in my Top Recommendations on Netflix, so I laid down to watch figuring I'd fall asleep on it. But I didn't. I have to note, I vaguely remember the book-i remembered what it was about and how graphic it was, but not exactly HOW graphic or WHAT was graphic about it or WHY. When I told my friend I watched…

07Mar 2011 by Jakora Holman 1 Comment

Sensitive Topics “/

Lifestyle

Yesterday someone said to me, "are you gaining weight?" That single sentence almost ruined my day. To start I thought I looked quite chic that day in my attire. And while I hadn't lost any weight my scale also hasn't moved up. So, I was devastated. Isn't this question tied with number one for "Questions not to ask women?" Along with 'how old are you?" I had just had a conversation the previous day where someone said "but you don't need to lose weight" and I had to explain that its not about there being bigger people in the world, its a matter of physical satisfaction with oneself, which I do not have. I mean, how is that a statement to offer someone solace, "Don't worry, there are fatter people…