Tag: relationships

12Jan 2014 by Jakora Holman No Comments

Fighting against the tide

Fighting against the tide

Mis-Adventures

I have this bad habit of starting a post, walking away because my thoughts don't feel complete and then an undisclosed amount of time passes so I no longer remember my original train of thinking ... #fail. Anyway... I hope this still makes sense " There is peace in knowing and the needing to guess where I stand. Not having to resort to decoding inference and weigh actions in relation to silence. Not having to devote any time to wondering and waiting, freed to devote myself wholly to wanting." -- Ladidahdi of Liquor, Loans, and Love Recently I woke up feeling as though I was being tested due to recent circumstances where someone from my past was continually reaching out trying to touch me. Even though I didn't outright reject…

05Oct 2012 by Jakora Holman 2 Comments

Standards: GET Some

Standards: GET Some

Mis-Adventures

NEWSFLASH: YOu do not get my friendship as a consolation prize. What I mean by this is you (particularly a man) who may have been interested in dating are not allowed to keep talking to me every day on the basis of "I thought we were friend" if either myself or you are not interested in the other person any longer. Back Story. SO a few months ago my friend pressured me to join an online dating site. And I did it, reluctantly. I exchanged numbers with a few people and I met a few people. Maybe I will share some stories. This "friendship" person.. was someone I exchanged numbers with. We talked on the phone a few times and had great conversation. We talked about things from television shows…

16Apr 2012 by Jakora Holman No Comments

Affection vs attention

Affection vs attention

Lifestyle

Today I can't help but think on the difference between affection and attention. Which one is more important? I immediately thought back to a time a few years ago. It was within the first year of me graduating college and I lived in my first apartment. Me and the infamous EX were on one of our "off" periods that had lasted at least 8 months to a year. While we weren't technically Ina relationship we still engaged I relations and spent a huge chunk of time together masquerading behind the premise of friendship. During this time "apart from him" I met a guy who I still refer to as "south jersey," and he was a complete 180 from what I knew. He was older by approximately 8 years, smart, interesting,…

13Jan 2012 by Jakora Holman 2 Comments

Resolving to evolve

Resolving to evolve

Mis-Adventures

Pardon me as I'm still on this New Year Resolution thing and the concept of "RESOLVE". What does it mean to make and keep a resolution, especially one rooted in change in oneself? The other day I was sitting home being very self deprecating because I had already slipped up on one of my resolutions ... Left Brain: You suck. You couldn't even stick it out for 2 full weeks? 8 days? 8 days is all you lasted, seriously? Right Brain: Relax. Things happen. Take it easy. No Harm. You had a good time, no? Heart: You really messed up. You know what you want, but you aren't taking the steps to get there. What are you scared of? Left Brain: You just don't know what will power is. You…

30Oct 2011 by Jakora Holman No Comments

The Head, the Heart & the Vagina

The Head, the Heart & the Vagina

Mis-Adventures

Did you know that you inherently speak three different languages? Yes, its true. Or at least I do. My head speaks English. And it understands cause and affect among other rational thoughts. My heart speaks spanish. It's confusing. If you don't use it, you kinda forget it. It has all these verbs that need conjugating. And my vagina speaks English. But not traditional English like my head. It's more of how Audrey II , the plant from Little Shop of Horrors speaks English. Without really knowing consequences or about feelings. Got it? Ok Good… Why am I talking about this? Honestly? I have no idea, the thought just came to me. But I think its valid given my current situation. I feel like when I'm impatient (or really horny) I…

05May 2011 by Jakora Holman No Comments

All i Need in this life of sIn

Lifestyle

I once had a friend who's email address was love_less_j , funny because we weren't even 21 when she had such an email address. Why would she call herself love_less before giving love a fighting chance in her life? Life had barely begun and she was naming her destiny.. The other night I was watching Khloe & Lamar on E (we all know their story-married within a month and focus of lots of media scrutinty) and it got me thinking about people who give themselves to love freely. I don't think what they feel for each other is a TV spectacle. When Lamar cradled Khloe on the floor while she cried about her weight issues and comforted her, that was love !! It bought my thoughts to a coworker I…

27Apr 2011 by Jakora Holman No Comments

Mister Nostalgia ..

Mister Nostalgia ..

Lifestyle

Nostalgia can be a good thing sometimes. You know, reminiscing about the times when your family would get together and have that big yearly barbeque. Or the antics you and your friends got into high school. However, the other day I had some thoughts of nostalgia that left me sad. The thing with Mister Nostalgia is that it's a gift and a curse.. Let me tell you my experience recently with old Mr. Nostalgia. Last week I was having one of those self doubt filled weeks, questioning past decisions and if they were right and kinda feeling lonely. (I think all single girls have that feeling sometimes). Well, I got to thinking about my EX and just kinda missing the relationship we had. I think I miss the friendship over…

10Dec 2010 by Jakora Holman 1 Comment

A Slice of reality pie

A Slice of reality pie

Mis-Adventures

So .. today over a nice delicious Portuguese BBQ meal me and a coworker had a discussion about women who are scandalous. Some of us often refer to them as "ain't shit" or "rachet" or just plain "hoes". You know, women who make eye contact with a man and then blow him in the bathroom of the local VFW (yup women do this). So I said to this person, a wonderful woman, who is awesome. She's like my auntie. She's like 38 to my 25 and we just talk and she's great. But anyway, I said to her you know its women like this who make it so easy for guys to be disrespectful to women. It's women like this that are the reason that men can so easily not…

08Dec 2010 by Jakora Holman 2 Comments

The Daddy Issue

Lifestyle

This has been a topic of discussion for awhile that has been brought back to life by a blog I read. Is it OK to call a man Daddy? The author of the blog (a man who has said some pretty shitty stuff about women on his blog and twitter, but that's another day) writes, "Being called Daddy by a woman is the ultimate form of flattery and respect in a relationship. Just as the term you ain’t my daddy one of the worst things a man can hear in his relationship." First off, can I say that every time I read a line like " Hey daddy, can I get you something" I do it with a high pitched hoodrat voice. don't ask. Don't tell. Anywho.. Now, I cannot…

03Nov 2010 by Jakora Holman 2 Comments

when is a 2nd chance just a 2nd chance?

Lifestyle

When does someone deserve a second chance? These last few days I began to think of an answer to this questions. I would think that someone would have excelled so well the first time that one would be willing to overlook a minor misstep and allow them a second chance to finish what they started? Right? Or did you give them a second chance just because, well this was their first time messing up? But then there would be no "finals" in a sense. You know, if everyone got a second chance. Sometimes you just have to accept that second chances should be the exception and not the rule and not everyone is entitled to one. Yes, it sounds good in theory that everyone deserves a second chance, but I…

06Oct 2010 by Jakora Holman 2 Comments

The past is the past ..

Lifestyle

Yesterday on twitter I realized what day it was .. see the tweets .. @Cleosunshine: Damn today is 10-05 ... Wow .. Woulda been me an the ex's __ anniversary ... Oh well.. Onward is the only forward .. @Cleosunshine: Its crazy what you think when your stupid in love.. I thought I'd never get over that relationship .. But I was wrroonnggg lmao @Cleosunshine: Not only am I over it, I don't look back! --- It's amazing how much a difference time actually makes. A year ago yesterday I was in a relationship with a guy I dealt with off and on since high school and I thought no matter what our ups and downs were that we would make it. I thought if this love didn't work out…

03Oct 2010 by Jakora Holman 3 Comments

Sharing is Caring …

Lifestyle

Guy knocks on door for Date Night Guy pulls roses from behind his back... Girl is shocked and super giddy because no one has bought her flowers just because... Guy opens car doors for girl... Girl and guy enjoy a night of spoken word and slam poetry topped off by delicious food. [gallery] Am I gay or am I gay?

22Sep 2010 by Jakora Holman 1 Comment

don’t fall victim

Lifestyle

This is something I typed on my BlackBerry and emailed to myself. I do write, it just sometimes gets lost in the sauce of things in my email. I'm trying to set it up where I can just email in a post, because the Wordpress for Blackberry app wasn't doing it for me ... anywho .. There are people in the world who like to try to tap holes into your wall of security so that they may prey on those newly formed insecurity pockets... I kid you not. Now, this can be in work, relationships or even friendships. For example... I'm pretty happy in general with my life, its not perfect nor is it problem free, but I happen to love it, flaws and all. Enter old-flame. (If you want…

21Jul 2010 by Jakora Holman 2 Comments

I’ve got you Pegged ;)

Lifestyle

One day I awake to a text instructing me to look up Pegging. Now, being the curious journalist that I am, of course this is the first thing I did when I finally climbed out of bed. Google had many different links and after finding a forum and reading the handy urban dictionary I texted back: " so.. Um.. Let me get this right, pegging is a woman doing a man with a strap on. " O_o. I was completely not expecting that. And I wanted to tread lightly because this text came from someone I like. I didn't want to offend him if this was something he was into (which he is NOT! *whew*). I guess we learn something new everyday, and the world of sex is constantly changing…

19May 2010 by Jakora Holman 1 Comment

Yup, I’m using you for dinner

Lifestyle

I began to follow @CerealDaters one day after a #FF (Follow Friday for non-twitterers) suggestion from someone [I think I'm the last person who actually clicks on those] but it was a great click. I love this blog. So real .. and being a newly single gal (is 5 months still new? ) its great stuff. This one in particular was something that summed me up. I tend to not go out with someone if I can automatically tell I'm not interested and I can tell very easily too .. But then I said, you know what, just go. Get some free dinner. Then I came across this post "Six reasons Why Dating for Dinner is OK" on Cereal Daters ... FREAKING AWESOME!! I love when my thoughts are brought to…